The Bitcoin Bowl: St. Petersburg Game Accedes to Demands of Evolution
The college football postseason contest headquartered in St. Petersburg* has only operated since 2008, but has rapidly gained market share in the national consciousness as a reliable source of peculiar entertainments. There is the game itself, played inside the domed confines of Tropicana Field, lending it an ambience best described by one local media member as “overturned Tupperware bowl.” There are the lead-up events, which include a belly flop–off and a dance contest that once caused a pregame donnybrook. And there is the title sponsorship, begun with the then-inscrutable magicJack, continued with a restaurant that has, at one point or another, listed “Signature Irish Limeade” and “Nachos ‘O’ Brady” among its menu offerings, and continues now to its logical evolutionary endpoint with the arrival of the Bitcoin Bowl.
Are those the cables of the Sunshine Skyway bridge in the logo, or renderings of the pyramids of ancient pharaohs seething with jealousy at the thought of being born into an age where they didn’t have to be buried with boring dumb gold bars? [Insert that sound slot machines make when a lot of nickels come out, only just the beeping part, not the sound of clinking metal anything, because this is cryptocurrency, baby.]
It’s not doing its part to replace the lost generation of bowl games named after pizza chains, and it deprives us of any further attempts to make a “guess the real Beef ‘O’ Brady’s menu item” pregame quiz, but as a torchbearer in the unbroken chain of “Wait. What?” that has accompanied this contest since its very inception, Bitcoin Bowl is a sterling choice. The gift suites will be millennial as hell. The Gatorland secondary sponsorship can’t be far off. And the heists will be unparalleled.
*ESPN owns this game. Look how much ESPN loves you.