If you were online last night and started to see an unusual number of tweets directed to “@3rdeyegirl,” I’m happy to report that the talk of the Twitter last night was not, in fact, a Stephan Jenkins stan gone viral, but the happy news that the Internet has finally been legitimized and can commence its business in earnest, i.e., Prince Rogers Nelson has joined Twitter.

We don’t know why he’s here yet, or what we did to deserve this, but if you’re on a Wi-Fi-enabled device right now and you have any idea what you’re doing, you have one browser tab now permanently dedicated to @3rdeyegirl’s feed so that you may witness this astral voyage as it takes off in real time. (Prior tweets from the account are from before Prince officially took the wheel.) Go back to the kiddie pool, @PrinceTweets2U. The grown-ups are RTing. Let’s take a look at The Purple One’s first 24 hours on Twitter and bask in their cosmic realness.

Here we are, in this big old empty room, staring each other down

I haven’t really been keeping up with Prince’s latest project, but it’s very democratic of him to feature all four members in the header of this Twitter bio. I am on my feet applauding that bio line until “explosions of awesome,” which is a bummer reminder that the wondrous dialect that is Princese has been largely co-opted by viral marketing campaigns for Frito-Lay products. But Prince planted that awesomeness flag first, so it shall remain his.

PRINCE-NESS RATING (on a scale of 1 to 5 crying doves):

Oh, and:

PRINCE-NESS RATING:

U want me just as much as I want u, let’s stop fooling around

PRINCE'S 1ST TWEET… TESTING 1, 2…

— PRINCE 3RDEYEGIRL (@3rdeyegirl) August 14, 2013

PRINCE-NESS RATING:

PRINCE'S 2ND TWEET.

— PRINCE 3RDEYEGIRL (@3rdeyegirl) August 14, 2013

PRINCE-NESS RATING:

PRINCE'S 3RD TWEET: DID EYE ADD 2 MUCH PEPPER? pic.twitter.com/3jfe3rb41g

— PRINCE 3RDEYEGIRL (@3rdeyegirl) August 14, 2013

PRINCE-NESS RATING:

Prince’s entire introduction is in all-caps, which is entirely appropriate, if not a little inadequate. Such are the drawbacks of Twitter. Just wait till he discovers Blingees. Prince’s third tweet gets the laugh (and it’s so reassuring to see him filling up on a hearty pile of arugula and mesclun) but the second wins for neither bearing the first tweeted words nor the first Twitpic and still being, somehow, VERY VERY IMPORTANT.

Don’t wanna do it all alone

I don’t know why I’m surprised that Prince is slaying it so hard in the fan-interaction department so early in the game, but he is. He seems to have found the perfect space in between the almost antagonistic detachment for which he is known, and the pit of chronic oversharing that so many celebrities on Twitter fall victim to. He’s personable without giving too much away. He knows he’s making 40-year-old women in Ohio scream when he RTs them, and he’s clearly enjoying it as much as they are.

PRINCE-NESS RATING:

U just gonna sit there and watch? All right …

1st selfie #selfie pic.twitter.com/dM5u5Rwfz2

— PRINCE 3RDEYEGIRL (@3rdeyegirl) August 14, 2013

PRINCE-NESS RATING:

Done. Prince killed selfies. The Internet IS over. Time to pack it up, everyone. We are not fit to share this social media platform with such greatness.