August 7, 2012
About Last Night: Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Monday. Kevin Durant scored 17 of his 28 points in the third quarter as the U.S. dominated Argentina 126-97. Following the win, an extremely condescending Kobe Bryant autographed a basketball for Manu Ginobili and patted him on the […]
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Your Tuesday Olympic Viewing Guide
Let’s get right to the good stuff: The Sino-American Medal Count Showdown China: 64 medals, 31 golds United States: 63 medals, 29 golds Reader Daniel G. e-mailed me today detailing a new system he invented, which I’m calling Saber-Medal-trics, at least until he comes up with a better name. Saber-Medal-trics uses Sports Illustrated‘s overall medal […]
Read moreAugust 6, 2012
All Right … Enough … Everybody Out of the Pool!
The other day I had an appointment with a new doctor. I fasted the night before, thinking he would draw some blood because my cholesterol levels were going to be checked. Note to other fat people planning on fasting before seeing a doctor: Do NOT schedule the appointment for 4 p.m. Way too late in […]
Read moreB.S. Report: Guest Hosts David Jacoby and Jalen Rose
Jalen is back! After a couple weeks in London with Team USA, Jalen Rose returned to the Grantland Studio to give the people what they want. With his trusty baseball bat slung over his shoulder, Jalen discussed his experience in London, what he thinks of the U.S. men’s basketball team, the real differences between the […]
Read moreGravity’s Rainbow: On McKayla Maroney’s Silver-Medal Vault Performance
After McKayla Maroney’s feet skidded out from under her on the landing of her second vault during the event final, and after she landed unceremoniously on her butt, she looked like she wanted to kill someone. Her coach tried to hug her, but she kept her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Her mouth was […]
Read moreMr. Marlowe, I Presume: The Californication of Olympics Announcing
I spent the majority of the 1980s in a dank basement in central Pennsylvania, waiting out the winter by watching any and every late-night sporting event accessible on cable television. This means I grew up listening to a hell of a lot of Chris Marlowe. For great stretches of my life, I have forgotten Marlowe’s […]
Read moreNo Legs Good, Two Legs Bad: Does Oscar Pistorius Have an Unfair Advantage?
So, Oscar Pistorius — a man born without fibulae — is running in the Olympic Games. He qualified for the 400-meter semifinal on Saturday, and he’ll be on the South Africa team for the 4×400-meter relay later this week, an event in which he won a silver medal in last year’s World Championships in Daegu. […]
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Bill Belichick and Aaron Hernandez: The Kiss
The above image comes courtesy of photographer Amanda Swinhart, who happened to capture this unlikely moment of tenderness between man and robot-terminator head coach at New England Patriots camp. Take it away, Amanda: New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick kisses tight end Aaron Hernandez’s elbow after Hernandez appeared to injure it during a passing […]
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The Most Ridiculous Medal Record in Olympic History Still Stands
The last race at Eton Dorney not only put the cap on a disappointing Olympic Regatta for the U.S. men’s rowing squad — the priority boat of the four took just a bronze in that race — it also assured that one of the most ridiculous medal records in Olympic history will stay on the […]
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Scene From the Aquatics Center, Starring Kevin Durant and Andre Iguodala
[Ring, ring, ring] Andre Iguodala: Go for Iguodala. Kevin Durant: Andre. Igudoala: You’ve got Andre. Go for Andre. Durant: Andre. It’s Kevin. Iguodala: …
Read moreAbout Last Weekend: Usain-ity, 2.0
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports over the weekend. Usain Bolt won his second straight gold medal in the men’s 100-meter dash, pulling away from the field and finishing in 9.63 seconds, an Olympic record. The victory had a somewhat odd conclusion as the famously […]
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Your Monday Olympic Viewing Guide
If you made it through the weekend without becoming an Olympic burnout zombie, congratulations. You’ve done well, and your reward is a very interesting development in the battle for national pride. A full week has passed, and the showdown with China has become a full-fledged dogfight. That’s right, my friends; it’s time to talk about […]
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