Star

Will Smith Caught Cheating: “Will Smith stepped into a private photo booth in New Orleans on Oct. 25 with a gorgeous, young blonde and, once safely ensconced behind the protective curtain, began nuzzling and hugging her, even baring his toned chest and pressing it up against her back as she suggestively lifted her own shirt, exposing her bra.” SCANDAL. Will is known as a jokester, but “the closeness he exuded with his stunning costar, Australian actress Margot Robbie, was clearly more than mere friendliness.” Robbie is the female lead in Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street and Smith’s costar in the upcoming Focus. Big Will “wasn’t acting like a married man; he gave no signs that he was in a committed relationship. What kind of married man would go into a photo booth with a sexy 23-year-old girl and start to undress?” One who is in an open marriage, as Will and Jada have frequently been rumored to be? “Jada Pinkett Smith, Will’s wife of 15 years, was nowhere to be found.” Jada has made plenty of veiled references to cheating or openness in the Pinkett Smith marriage, but can they survive proof in the form of photobooth pics? Shooting Focus in New Orleans, Smith’s family accompanied him on “a day of sightseeing in the alligator swamps” but left quickly thereafter. Witnesses at the wrap party claim Robbie and Smith were “hanging all over each other, laughing like they were a new couple in love.” Smith had just finished shooting, so supposedly he wasn’t drunk — “he knew what he was doing.” Then Robbie climbed on Smith “piggyback style” and headed off to his trailer. “After they left the party, they were gone all night.” The source says, “This was absolutely cheating in my book.” Pinkett Smith was speaking at a Baltimore charity event, where she gave a telling speech that went “When you are going through a storm with your spouse … stop thinking about what you ‘believe’ a husband or wife should be.” Hmmmm.

Friends say Will and Jada are all but separated. “Jada has been a complete mess, but she still believes the marriage will work itself out when Will is done filming in New Orleans.” Or she has an out of sight, out of mind policy in place. “Jada has no idea about Will’s relationship with Margot, and she’ll be devastated to learn that he has a new woman in his life.” Despite Jada’s promise that her marriage would endure no matter what, she may finally be open to leaving her husband. They were staying together for the benefit of children Jaden and Willow, but now “his children are older and to a point where he feels like they will understand if their parents get divorced. The problem is that Will is having more fun with Margot than he’s had with Jada in years. Margot has made Will realize that he can be happy with another woman.” HMMMMMMMMMMM.

Janice Dickinson’s Stem Cell Therapy: Death Becomes Her much, Janice? Dickinson has been “traveling to China to undergo controversial stem-cell infusion treaments — in which doctors take the cells from human placentas and inject them into Janice’s skin in order to achieve a youthful glow and heal what ails her.” But what if her ailment is VANITY. “If anybody is going to have a state-of-the-art, revolutionary skin-care miracle, it’s going to be me, with my hand out, first in line.” Flawless logic for justifying the $10,000 a session treatment. “My skin has gone from gray to rosy pink, and I feel great!” Why was your skin gray, though? “The procedure — in which the placenta cells are harvested immediately after birth and delivered ‘fresh’ into the client’s bloodstream — has not yet been approved in the U.S.” Janice and her doctors believe it is safe, but it’s so new that there aren’t very many studies. Dr. Brian Mehling gave her the treatment and also injected stem cell fluid into her spinal cord “to ease her back pain and migraine headaches.” CHILL. Janice says she felt “energized like there was no tomorrow” and had “the best sex” with her fiancé Rocky. “Speaking with the youthful exuberance of a teenager, Janice says she couldn’t be happier with the way she looks.” She’s always talked like that. She spreads on “stem-cell serum” between treatments. “My skin is just amazing. My face and my legs and my hands and my feet and my vagina and my butt. Everything got so smooth. My life has improved tremendously!” Cool. Brazil.

David Arquette: “We’re all droplets of God!”

Why Did Kim K Post That Bikini Selfie? According to Kim it was “my big, like, middle finger to the world on everyone that called me fat.”

Mel Gibson Dating an Israeli Jew: “Mel, 57, and Israeli-born Sarai Givaty, 31, have been flirting up a storm” on the set of The Expendables 3. She “loves his sense of humor.” You know, the one that made him say, “The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” That sense of humor. “But insiders insist that’s in the past.” Sure. “She thinks he’s very charming. They love each other’s company.” OK.

Misc/Etc: “WHY IS DADDY DRUNK?” “Courtside Cuddles” “Partying is my priority” “barely contained her revulsion” “she had secret sex with him” “but all she ate was broccoli!” “Her bones are so old, they’re beginning to crumble” “Honey Boo Boo Thompson did her best impression of Kris Jenner” “Move over, skinny chicks! These zaftig celebrities are hitting the beach and strutting their stuff!” “ditched the brisk autumn weather and showed off her bikini body” “Walking on the bottom of the ocean. No biggie.” “but he still has to take out the trash like every other meth head” “the embittered actress settles her divorce” “CARNAL KNOWLEDGE”

Us Weekly

Justin Bieber at a Brazilian Brothel: “Inside Centaurus — Rio de Janeiro’s most popular brothel — November 1, Justin Bieber tried to stay inconspicuous. The plan was for the 19-year-old and his nine-person entourage to pick out eight women and return to his penthouse suite for a private party. As 45 potential dates were presented, Bieber peered over the top of his sunglasses at each one, then looked away. But when prices were quoted — about $1,200 per girl for an overnight call — the group settled on just two.” CHEAPSKATE! “Outside the Brazilian sex den at 7 p.m., the ‘Bad Day’ singer was greeted with flashbulbs. His team wrapped him in one of the club’s bedsheets — cloaking his famous face, but not his unmistakable wrist ink — and shuttled him into an SUV.” His PR team immediately spun the story, claiming he accidentally visited the club not knowing it was a brothel. “He was told it was just a cool, private club. He did not get naked or have sex.” Pretty cool club, lol. When they got back to Justin’s luxury hotel the “guests were recognized and barred from entering. Though prostitution is legal in Brazil, the hotel has a no tolerance attitude towards escorts” and Bieber happened to bring “two of the area’s most well-known prostitutes.” Well you only want the best, obviously. “Determined to salvage the evening, the singer’s team tried to book another room, but were rejected by the nearby Santa Teresa and Hotel Fasano.” He got booted from the Copacabana, where he was already in trouble for destroying some hotel property in his room. The next night he took to the stage in São Paulo and went home with a waitress named Andrezza from the VIP room at Zax Club. “They hooked up, but they didn’t have sex.” She might be the one who posted a video on YouTube of sleeping Bieb.

Life After The Hills

• Lauren Conrad: She’s engaged to her boyfriend of two years, USC law student William Tell. “Now Conrad faces her most elaborate production yet. Lauren wants a big wedding!” She has been busy becoming the mini–Martha Stewart for those who can’t afford goop yet, building an empire around her carefree white girl style. Conrad guest-edited Martha Stewart Weddings earlier this year, so she has already been brainstorming about her Pinterest wedding (ALL HER LIFE!). “She’s not going to be a bridezilla!” Conrad credits the lack of cameras with her successful relationship. “A typical evening for the duo: hanging out at home, feasting on her signature chicken parmesan or homemade apple pie.” Sounds about right. So was the timing. She and Tell “were both looking for someone they could settle down with.” But will there be mascara-streaked tears?
• Kristin Cavallari: She’s expecting a second child with her husband, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, and is also designing shoes for Chinese Laundry. “These days, bloodshot eyes come courtesy of new-mom sleep deprivation.” LOL. She moved to Chicago to be with Cutler, and she rarely drinks. She “relishes her role as a domestic goddess. A source says she feeds Camden a gluten-free diet and chooses not to microwave his food.” So everyone on The Hills turned into Gwyneth Paltrow circa now? This makes so much sense.
• Heidi Montag: Montag, who famously claimed she wanted to get H-cup breast implants because “H” is for Heidi, finally decided to abandon the F-cup implants she got a few years ago because “her back was always sore” and her arms were going numb. A plastic surgeon convinced her the implants were dangerous. “They can fall through to your belly button!” Large implants apparently can suffer from “bottoming out.” Montag went up to C cups in 2007, then F cups in 2010. She went back down to C cups earlier this month. Asked why she went so big to begin with, Montag says, “I was really insecure at the time and put my value into my breast size. I should have gone to a therapist!” No shit, Heidi. Why the other nine plastic surgery procedures she underwent in 2010? She asked her doctor what he would do if he were her, and naturally he recommended everything. “I didn’t realize what I was signing up for: It took me a year to recover. I was too impulsive.” Did the F cups make her feel sexier? Of course not. “Guys would stare at me really creepily and felt they had the right to because I had such big boobs.” Heidi … is … learning? Oh, also, her heart stopped during one of the procedures ahhhhhhh. “It was traumatic. And I’m sick of being ‘the surgery girl.’ But when the health risks kicked in, it wasn’t a choice. Now my spine doesn’t hurt and my neck feels better.” How’s Spencer? “He’s the best!” Sigh. I guess some things never change. Is she enlightened now? Kinda! “All I’ve done is refind who I am without the Hollywood life. I was in a cast of all rich girls and I felt like I kind of became possessed by my possessions.” Wow, that is legit deep and perceptive. “I’m the new, new, new Heidi.” Dump Spencer!
• Audrina Patridge: No1curr.
• Whitney Port: Lives in Venice Beach and “is in a relationship and working on her Whitney Eve fashion line” as well a jewelry collection.
• Jason Wahler: “Sobriety changed my life.” He got married and is now 26.
• Stephanie Pratt: Stars on the U.K. reality show Made in Chelsea.
• Brody Jenner: Finally signed on for Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
• Lo Bosworth: “I am loving life!” She’s a party planner, duh.
• Justin Bobby Brescia: “The hairstylist better known as Justin Bobby, 31, was recently living in Nicaragua and working at a salon in the city San Juan del Sur.” That is perfect! I call people Justin Bobby all the time. L.A. is full of Justin Bobbys.

John Mayer Shopping for a Ring for Katy Perry: “The duo of 15 months — who reunited in July after a three month break — are so serious now, even Mayer’s mother is encouraging him to pop the question. She’s always wanted John to settle down. She approved of Katy.” What’s in it for John? Kids! “He would like to give his parents grandkids, and he wants to do it soon because his dad is 86.” Perry and Mayer hung out “on her tour in Tokyo” at the Grand Hyatt. Maybe don’t have a big crazy destination wedding exploiting a foreign culture this time around, Katy.

Adam Levine: “Famous last words: ‘I’ll never get married.'” More famous last words: “I’ll never get divorced.” Good luck with your marriage to Behati Prinsloo, Adam!

Chris Pratt: “My favorite Muppet is Fozzie Bear.” Kind of makes perfect sense.

Jennifer Garner: “I say that all the time … ‘Hashtag no disrespect to Ben Affleck’ … That’s how I might greet [husband Ben] in the morning.”

Taylor Schilling From Orange Is the New Black: “I’m shying away from wearing orange in my personal life. I mean, it hasn’t been a great loss. I got lucky the show wasn’t like, Black Is the New Black. Then I’d be fucked.”

Why Does Rachel McAdams Keep Doing Time-Travel Romances? “I didn’t really think about it until people were like, ‘You know, this is your third time-travel film.” AND YET SHE NEVER GETS TO TIME TRAVEL IT’S SO FRUSTRATING.

Misc/Etc: “These guys can’t stand Western culture” “ICE SCULPTURES” “spilling red wine on a senator’s assistant” “My nickname is Monkeyboy” “I also like the Punisher” “Album Title or Self Help Book?” “I get my astronaut pen out” “Papa, why is your neck like a giraffe?” “Oh, I can’t eat the whole cake.” “Somebody please get him a shirt” “worst sex of our lives — but worth it!” “How many slutty witches does it take to make me move out of the country?” “It’s like herding cats” “F is for friend!” “I brought my cans” “grasped a seashell umbrella” “No cup of sugar — I brought him a full cake” “we have to put you butt up on pillows” “She talks to everybody about how quickly she wants to get married!” “IS A LITTLE LEMON NEXT?” “for a weekend of hunting” “will become the first artist to sing in outer space” “Galen Pehrson, 33” “we shot in Iceland on a glacier” “I yell at him since he’s flaky” “just sort of another year”

Life & Style 

Kimye: Kim on Jay Leno’s show “was like a robot. It was if she’s been brainwashed about what to say. She didn’t have that sparkle in her eye that we’d once had.” What she did have was a huge-ass 15-karat sparkler on her finger instead. “She’s under Kanye’s spell. He’s making the decisions about everything.” Kanye is “calling the shots about the wedding, the house they’re constructing, everything down to what shoes she’s going to wear to events.” Sounds about right. “Kim goes along with Kanye’s wishes because she’s desperate for this relationship to work, and that’s how you have a relationship with Kanye.” Well, yeah. Kim was “the one in charge” of her first two marriages, as the more famous partner. “Kim doesn’t think she’s being controlled. She’s ‘deciding’ to do whatever Kanye wants. She’s so in the Kanye bubble right now.” That sounds like behavior lots of people fall into when they get into a relationship. At Kim’s birthday party in Vegas, “she would look over at him for assurance and he’d nod at her. She really can’t do anything without him now.” Sounds like what Kim wants. Friends are koncerned she’s konsidering dropping the Kardashian name. “Kim would never have taken Kris Humphries’ last name, and now the idea that she’s going to take Kanye’s is completely crazy. She’s made $100 million under the Kardashian name, but he wants her to change it — so she’ll change it.” What about the wedding dress? “It will be his vision, and like at the Met Ball, everyone will probably be making fun of her while he tells her it’s perfect. It’s going to be a disaster.” Oh come on everyone will be making fun of her no matter what it looks like. “Kanye definitely shows signs of OCD and narcissism” according to a psychotherapist who has never treated him. “Everything is me, me, me. He’s uptight and needs to be in control. And when he feels like he’s losing control, he gets very angry.” Whoooooo doesn’t. Kris Jenner, for one, doesn’t mind Kim’s transformation into Kanye’s Stepford wife because, duh, $$$$$$$. Kris is “so excited about Kim marrying someone so successful and powerful. He’s just the type of man Kris wants in her family — another guy who can help them out and push their fame forward.” I still bet that Kim kontrols Kanye behind klosed doors.

Michelle Pfeiffer and the Weird Health Cult: “Michelle Pfeiffer first moved to L.A. 35 years ago, and she made some pals she thought were personal trainers.” Quoth Michelle, “They were very controlling. They were always telling me I needed to come over more.” What was their deal? “They believed in breatharianism, the ability to live without food and water.” Michelle was doing research for a movie about cults when she realized her “personal trainer” friends were actually culties.

Dolly Parton on Goddaughter Miley Cyrus: “She’s the cutest thing there ever was … I admire her, I respect her, she’s smart and she’s so talented.”

Cristiano Ronaldo: “I put a lot of passion and dedication into creating this new underwear line.”

Holly Madison on Her Daughter Rainbow: “I’ve started to read to her a little bit. I get that vibe from her like she’s very wise.”

Tyra Banks: “I won Emmys and was voted one of Time’s most influential people two times in a row — all with a big ass!”

Misc/Etc: “No One Is Out Of Your League” “CONTROLLED BY A MADMAN” “We never would have believed a crop top could look so chic” “went full-on fem” “Married life’s meant fewer red carpets for Blake — but when she does go out, she sure does it right!” “Big danglers are too much with an embellished neckline” “Sperm has been, so far, held at bay” “Not all photobombs are bad” “No harm in aiming high, ladies!” “She could have at least worn a red wig and gone as Joan!” “she’ll shake her booty at any age!” “Every year he dresses as something creepy, but I still can’t keep my hands off him!” “Typically, I hate mornings” “I Almost Married A Monster” “Even Supermodels Have Cellulite” “enjoying an intimate relationship recently with raspberry crumble” “Justin got hands-on with Diamond, a stripper”