Five Year Engagement (April 27)

Silver: I’m a little disappointed in Jason Segel. He should know better than to reveal the age-old secret of “The Jewish Drawer”. Every Jewish boy has one, and to reveal its contents … well … let’s just say things take a turn akin to the one at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Regardless, in spite of Five Year Engagement’s lackluster trailer, seeing Segel strap on his sad-sack character is pretty welcome. Working with his frequent collaborator Nicholas Stoller (director and co-writer here), Segel gets to play with some extremely talented comedy folk — specifically NBC’s Thursday stars Alison Brie (Community) and Chris Pratt (Parks and Recreation). From the trailer, Five Year Engagement might not be the Bridesmaids-size cultural phenomenon Apatow and Universal are hoping for, but if it comes close to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, we all win.

Browne: Silver, I can’t believe they discussed “The Jewish Drawer” either. I mean, is nothing sacred? Despite that rude slip up, Emily Blunt is perfect so I will see this 8 times.

This Means War (February 17)

Browne: This is absurd. A movie about two CIA agents (Chris Pine, Tom Hardy) who find out they’re both dating Reese Witherspoon and play pranks on each other, sabotaging dates, as to increase their own chances. Like I said, this is absurd. You either make this movie in present day and have the lead actress be Mila Kunis/Ryan Gosling or make it 10 years ago and have the two suitors be James Van Der Beek and Freddie Prinze Jr. Why this third option has been invested in, I couldn’t even begin to tell you.

Silver: I’m sticking with my original prediction: Witherspoon is also a spy.

Lockout (April 20)

Silver: After seeing this trailer, I am both confused by and excited for Lockout. And the official IMDb summary only adds to both feelings: a man wrongly convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage against the U.S. is offered his freedom if he can rescue the president’s daughter from an outer-space prison taken over by violent inmates. Again, both ridiculous and amazing. Aside from an immensely imaginative prolonged interrogation/credits reveal, we’re not given a clear sense of what this film actually is. But the little we do learn — it stars the always great and under-utilized Guy Pearce and is written by European schlock mystro Luc Besson (Taken and The Transporter) — should at least pique the interest of sci-fi action geeks everywhere.

Browne: This looks like a R-rated version of 24, but somehow also related to outer space. As someone who was always waiting for Kiefer to save America from Martian terrorists, I can’t wait for this film.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (December 25)

Browne: I saw the original trailer in theaters and immediately started to tear up. The film, about a boy who finds a key left by his father (Tom Hanks), who died on September 11,
and will stop at nothing until he figures out what it unlocks, looks magical. My only complaint, Trailer No. 2, is that you lost a little of your power by dispensing with U2’s “Where The Streets Have No Name,” which figured more prominently into the first trailer. The song was seemingly made for this movie. Anyway, between the plot, Hanks, Sandra Bullock, and the brave boy, this movie looks fantastic.

Silver: Why is Tom Hanks one of our greatest cinema treasures? Because he can deliver a schmaltzy, pun-based line like ,“You rock,” and not only make it feel genuine, but also make us all wish he’d say it to us. How great would it be to have Tom Hanks as a dad?

The Darkest Hour (December 25)

Silver: The forgettable blonde from the first Transformers, the best friend from Juno, the guy who sued Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network who wasn’t a Winklevoss, and the dude who died in Into the Wild battle a mysterious and invisible alien force trying to steal all our electricity. Their first mistake: thinking their “dream vacation” was one to Moscow. Was the city offering the best tax credits? Or did the producers feel like every other city on the planet has already been used as a backdrop for an alien-invasion movie? It’s also a very convenient (and cost-effective) coincidence that the aliens here just happen to be invisible, but when they do reveal themselves appear to resemble a standard Microsoft screensaver.

Browne: In Independence Day, yes, we obviously found a way to outsmart and defeat the aliens. But there’s NO way humanity would actually would win here. Watch this trailer and tell me that we’d beat these guys. Not. Even. Close.

The Lorax (March 2)

Browne: Let me just say that if they screw up The Lorax, I might never see another animated film. After watching this trailer, I’m starting to get a little nervous. I’m trying to get over the whole “Starring Zac Efron, Taylor Swift… and Danny DeVito” thing — that’s not calming my nerves much. At the end of the day it’s a trailer and trailers can be deceiving. I just hope it’s more in line with Horton Hears a Who! than Seussical.

Silver: I just can’t get over the fact that the title character is voiced by Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito), a.k.a. “the sweaty naked man from the couch.”

Daniel Silver is the Director of Development for ESPN Films. Follow him on Twitter at @Danielsilver11. Rembert Browne is a writer for Grantland. Follow him on Twitter at @RembertManX.