The Fast and the Furious Will Never Die

AP Photo/Marco Ugarte Paul Walker

At least two more Fast and the Furious movies are in the works, says star Vin Diesel, and the screenplays for those projects are currently being written simultaneously. Says Vin: “We have to pay off this story, we have to service all of these character relationships, and when we started mapping all that out it just went beyond 110 pages.” What? Look, with all due respect to the venerable franchise — which has given us hours of mind-blowing entertainment over the years — here’s the plot of both the sixth and seventh F&F movies: Car chase, betrayal, good guys on the run, introduction of plan, secondary betrayal, reunion, car chase, we out. There. I just “serviced the story.” Grade: A [HR]

HBO has renewed Enlightened for a second season, while cancelling three other low rated shows: Hung, Bored to Death and How to Make It In America. With upcoming series including Veep, Girls, Life’s Too Short, Angry Boys, and Aaron Sorkin’s newsroom drama there wasn’t room on the schedule, even for the critical darling Bored to Death. To cope with your loss, try playing The LOX’s “We’ll Always Love Big Poppa,” replacing in your head the words “We’ll Always Love Big Poppa” with the words “We’ll Always Love Hung, Bored to Death, and How to Make It In America.” Grade: C [HR]

“Twitter personality” Kelly Oxford — she’s a stay-at-home mom who shares semi-mean things about her children — will write a single-camera comedy for NBC. The idea for the show, about “divorcing couple and the wife’s overbearing sister … who try to raise their families together after the sale of their house falls through,” came from Philadelphia Eagles co-owner Christina Weiss Lurie. Take this to heart, Philly fans: Uour football team may have disappointed on the field this season, but it’s now leading the league in the crucial “TV show ideas generated by ownership” category. Grade: B [Deadline]

Jessica Biel is in talks for the indie Emanuel and the Truth About Fishes. She’ll play Linda, a mother who’s traumatized after the loss of a child, and who now takes care of a life-like doll as if it was her baby. Kaya Scodelario (Effy from UK Skins) plays a babysitter who goes along with the delusion because Linda looks like Scodelario’s character’s mother. Emanuel producers: Now also hire Cook from Skins, and you might really have something here. Grade: B [Showblitz]

James Franco is in talks to play Hugh Hefner in Lovelace, the Amanda Seyfried project about the titular porn star. James won’t be in the movie for long: If he signs on, he’ll only have one day of shooting. Guess what, Lovelace co-stars Hank Azaria, Bobby Cannavale, Chris Noth and Robert Patrick? You’re about to have the best day ever. Grade: A [Showblitz]

Filed Under: Bored to Death, Grading the Trades, HBO, How to Make It In America, James Franco, Jessica Biel, NBC

Amos Barshad has written for New York Magazine, Spin, GQ, XXL, and the Arkansas Times. He is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ AmosBarshad