So much eyebrow-raising Hollywood casting news and project announcements, so little time. Let’s get to it!

• Arnold Schwarzenegger has confirmed he’s doing Terminator 5. This isn’t coming out of nowhere. There was already a money man (Oracle scion Megan Ellison, who we can thank for the existence of Zero Dark Thirty and The Master) attached to the project, as well as a pair of screenwriters (that’d be Laeta Kalogridis, best known for Shutter Island, and Patrick Lussier, best known for, uh, My Bloody Valentine 3D and Drive Angry.) Plus, Arnold’s The Last Stand just flopped, and so if there was ever a right time to return to the tried-and-true, this would be it. According to reports, Schwarzenegger simply confirmed he was doing the movie, without doling out any superfluous quotes or explanation. Most impressive! He’s in character already!
• David Fincher is in talks to direct the book-club smash Gone Girl. Gillian Flynn’s novel, which revolves around the disappearance of a woman on the day of her fifth wedding anniversary, will be co-produced by Reese Witherspoon, although she isn’t yet cast in the flick itself. As for Fincher, it’s not clear if he’ll come on board, as he’s got a possible adaptation of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea kicking around, plus he’s supposed to do The Girl Who Played With Fire, the sequel to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Hopefully, though, this is Fincher’s new thing: only doing adaptations of best sellers with the world ‘Girl’ in the title. We’re talking John Le Carré’s The Little Drummer Girl, Louis Sachar’s YA classic There’s a Boy in the Girls’ Bathroom, the novelization of woefully forgotten Spike Lee joint Girl 6 …
• James Franco is doing James Ellroy. From Sundance, MTV reports: “‘We’re going to do American Tabloid by James Ellroy,’ Franco revealed … He added that he’ll be involved in the adaptation as both the star and director. ‘It’s not all put together yet,’ he cautioned. ‘It’s still early. You’re getting the scoop.’ Based on a 1995 novel of the same name, American Tabloid follows five years in the lives of law-enforcement officers Pete Bondurant, Kemper Boyd and Ward Littell from 1958 through 1963. Each of their stories comes to a head as they’re drawn into the assassination of U.S. president John F. Kennedy.” An atypically straightforward project for the ever-restless Franco? Or will it turn out that, I don’t know, let’s say, during American Tabloid‘s wide release, Franco himself will travel from multiplex to multiplex attempting to tickle every one of its paying customers?
• The Bored to Death movie is actually happening! EW reports that “Jonathan Ames will write and executive produce the feature-length film with HBO for a potential theatrical release, and that stars Jason Schwartzman, Zach Galifianakis, and Ted Danson are expected to return to reprise their roles. We don’t know much at this early stage — only that the ‘slapstick adventure’ will have ‘Jonathan, Ray, and George reunite to fight crime, commit crime, lose their minds, and fail at love.'” EW also cites Danson talking up the flick before it was official: “[Jonathan] becomes a policeman, which means, for him, a traffic cop. He’ll have a traffic-cop go-kart kind of thing. And I think Ray and I move in together, both of us without relationships. And then: hijinks. All hell breaks loose.” First: All of that sounds perfect, plus the possibility of a theatrical release?! Second: The most important thing here is not the quality of what we’ll see on screen when the Bored to Death movie appears; the most important thing here is that, somehow, despite the show’s cancellation and the long, sad history of rumored TV-to-feature adaptations, the Bored to Death movie truly does exist. Faith in the universe restored!