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“Drunk in Love” is wonderful partially because it feels like an intensely private Beyoncé and Jay Z experience made public. Then noted friend of the Carter family Kanye West showed up — as he was always bound to — on Valentine’s Day to turn the song into a full-on Knowles-Throne joint. With sparse, synth-driven production by Kanye mainstay Mike Dean, the new “Drunk in Love” opens with a ’Ye verse. Prepare to sequentially bear witness to:

• Some Creole vocals about Nelson Mandela
• A “Little Drummer Boy” nod transformed into something a little more risqué
• Some bars explaining how Kim Kardashian is the antithesis of “Gold Digger”
• The date “35th of Nevuary”
• A line about a mouth you won’t be able to unhear
• Further discussion of couch desecration
• The words “on sight,” rhymed with “on Skype”
• A celebration of the “Bound 2” video
• Zero uses of “surfbort” :(

Beyoncé’s still got the best verse, and, despite how funcomfortable Kanye makes things, this new version’s pretty replayable. Also, stay tuned for the part when Yeezy more or less implies that any artist ever using the phrase “flashing lights” is a reference to “Flashing Lights.”

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And by the by, Beyoncé’s YouTube channel has either endorsed the remix or suggests that an actual video is pa-rum-pa-pum-pumming soon:

Also in the Kanyesphere: He’s back out on the Yeezus Tour, and he used Saturday’s date in Newark to weigh in on the situation with Drake, Rolling Stone, and Yeezus’s silly “Swaghili” line:

Hey, sidebar: you keep on talking about Drake and shit and I’m gonna tell you what it is with the magazines. They always be trying to pit n—as against each other and that ain’t going down no more. So tonight it ain’t none of that, we love Drake, we love every motherfucker that put their heart into this motherfucking music. If anything, we gon’ go after motherfuckers writing that negativity. Before that print and shit like that they need to check with me and him to see if it’s okay before they get ran up in they motherfucking office.

Then, kicking into the Auto-Tune, “It only costs $250 to beat your ass.” Which is a great way of bragging about decking an obnoxious racist and then settling out of court for a quarter of a million dollars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPKeZR69qRY