After our Ryan Seacrest–on-a-budget “premiere” of Miley Cyrus’s new Snoop Lion–assisted single, “Ashtrays and Heartbreaks,” last week, the Girls in Hoodies decided to conduct a general survey of how the tween stars of the aughts are holding up these days. We’re feeling pretty good about the future of the former Miss Montana (and no longer future Mrs. Hemsworth) — which made Lindsay Lohan’s disastrous Letterman appearance on Tuesday all the more sad-making. But first things first: We had a Mad Men season premiere and Stan Rizzo’s beard to obsess over. The two-hour episode was weird, morbid, death-obsessed — and that’s why it was so great! Finally, Tess and Molly helped Emily mentally prepare for Coachella this weekend, and we all discuss the pros and cons of the modern music festival. If only we could still see things through Huell’s eyes.

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