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Dear Mad Men/The O.C. mash-up: Please Pinocchio yourself. Become a real boy. Give us a season of Don Draper going full Ryan Atwood, give us stoner Megan, give us not one but two Seth Cohens in Ted Chaough and Stan Rizzo. Roger can be Sandy (with a dash of Jimmy Cooper). Everyone goes to Tijuana. The path to convergent plot points has been cleared and mulched — long-distance relationships! Dissolution of wealth! A character attempting to escape his hard-luck family and humble beginnings! Welcome to SC&P, bitch.

• Mash-ups mash-ups all the way, Thursday is our mash-up day.
• Filed under bizarre casting choices, Cameron Diaz will be playing Miss Hannigan in Annie.
• Modern Family considers gay marriage post-DOMA.
• FX is developing a Last of the Mohicans series.
• Pete Doherty, world’s grubbiest person, is going to be selling old celebrity cigarette butts.
• “I love ‘Get Lucky’ and haven’t heard nearly enough of it. Is there a 10-minute remix available?” Why yes, alien friend, there is!
• Hollywood-created queer couples of note.
• Mean Girls grows up, becomes Mean Moms, remains so fetch.
• BET’s 106 & Park invites Paula Deen to appear on the show, whip up some soul food, and #realtalk.
• A full episode of Drunk History has made its way online. Now you go.
• The hot one from Felicity joins Ryan Murphy’s Open.
• An oral history of The Room.
• The Broadway-bound musical adaptation of Bullets Over Broadway has cast Zach Braff as David Shayne. No! Don’t speak!
• “So Tony Soprano never changed, people say. He got darker. I don’t know how they can misunderstand that. He tried and he tried and he tried. And you tried and you tried, more than most of us, and harder than most of us, and sometimes you tried too hard.” —David Chase’s eulogy for James Gandolfini
• Sloth rings, and I’m out.