Major League Baseball, which has hoarded its old archives and clips like Scrooge Freaking McDuck, suddenly released a treasure trove of amazing old highlights. You can find the main archive here.

Some of my favorites:

Jheri-curled, young Pedro Martinez hitting Reggie Sanders with a pitch, causing Sanders to charge the mound. In related news, Pedro was working on a perfect game at the time and clearly had zero intention of hitting anybody. Hate you, Reggie Sanders.

… Tim Raines hitting a game-winning, grand-slam home run at Shea, thus completing an absolutely insane performance in which he homered, tripled, singled twice, walked, stole a base, scored three runs, and knocked in four … after sitting out the first month of the season following collusion by the Expos and every other team. Oh, and Vin Scully was on the mic. The best.

Wait, you want non-Expos highlights, too? FINE. Here’s Tony Gwynn’s 3,000th hit (at Olympic Stadium, suckers):

… Cecil Fielder parking a monster home run on the roof of old Tiger Stadium:

… Manny Ramirez blasting a shot into the fifth deck at SkyDome:

… Ken Griffey Jr.’s first major league hit:

… Bo Jackson running up an outfield wall:

… and a zillion more classics.

Seriously, just quit your job and leave your spouse now, save yourself the trouble later.