Men’s College Soccer Guides, Plush Toys, and the Meaning of Life

Getty Images Notre Dame Soccer

Thanks to eBay, you can now buy things all sorts of random things that you didn’t even know you wanted. To make this careless spending even easier, we’ve compiled a list of various sports-adjacent things that you might want to waste your money on.

So, I’ll be honest, I don’t really “get” eBay. Like, I don’t understand what makes a person think that selling eight guides for a men’s college soccer team could be anything close to a good idea. What is the payoff here? Best case scenario, this guy is going to make $3 off of this sale &#8212 I would even assume he’s not making anything off the $5 shipping, but if you want to be generous we can say he gains an extra $2 in profit, bringing the whopping total to $5. But he’s spending probably around 30 minutes taking the pictures, e-mailing them to himself, and then uploading them to eBay, and then he has to fill out the description! That means when all of this is said and done, after he goes through the trouble to mail the sold good, he’s making $5 for about an hours worth of work! Does this seem like a good idea to anyone? I really just don’t understand any of this. What is happening?

1984 olympic bird mascot measuring 37 inches tall!!!! — $249.99
On the other end of the spectrum of things that I don’t understand about life or the world or eBay. Here is an old plush toy from the 1984 Olympics that is going for $250. Sure. Why not. Although, I guess this makes slightly more sense than the media guides from the previous entry in that $250 is probably around what the original purchaser paid for it at one of those outrageous Olympic gift shops. Sporting events gift stores are right below airport food establishments and right above movie theaters for places that charge way too much compared to other comparable places for the exact same things. That being said, 25 years is a lot of depreciation, so maybe set your sights lower, seller! Or don’t, I don’t know anything!

CAL BEARS mid-1980s game shorts #22 — $19.99
Last week, reader Troy pointed out that we/I (sorry guys!) had incorrectly attributed a pair of gross-looking shorts as having been worn in a game when really they were “new” shorts that looked disgusting. Well, this week I will not make that same mistake again. These are just some ugly shorts that you should not buy, but JUST SO WE’RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE, THEY HAVE NOT BEEN WORN IN A GAME.

Mauricio Gugelmin – Rare Bell fan race nomex helmet — $749
I don’t know how much motorcycle helmets cost, so this could possibly be a great deal, or maybe highway robbery. If we’ve learned anything from the last three entries, it’s clear that I don’t know anything about anything about eBay. I’m gonna go home. Just kidding, I have one more to do here.

Okay, nevermind. I’m leaving.

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Filed Under: Things On the Internet