After the Grammys it’s the Grammys After-Party and after the Grammys After-Party it’s the … um, Post-Grammy News Roundup. One of these things is not as inherently scintillating as the others! But please, read on: It’s been less than 48 hours since the big bash, and already all manner of mind-boggling music-biz news is brewing. Who’ll be the big winner at next year’s Grammys (if it wasn’t for the fact that the Grammys’ super-strange cut-off period means the big winners in 2014 will be people who put out music in 2012)? Let’s find out!

• Literally and comfortingly fulfilling the title of arguably his hugest jam, Grammy winner/no-show Kanye West is in Paris, working on his next solo album. So says The-Dream, who survived his scathing swap-meet putdown to tell the assembled press backstage Sunday night that he himself is headed to the land of baguettes and striped shirts and creepy thin mustaches (OK, yes, I’m mostly getting this from Ratatouille) to collaborate with Yeezy again. G.O.O.D. Music producer Malik Yusef seconded the intel, explaining the new record in perfectly vague, perfectly excitable terms: “Let’s just say, remember black music, the black experience, the good and the bad, the grim and the bright. It’s a throwback to that era and a distilliation [sic] of what’s happening in the modern world.” Also: “Of course, we like to travel and shop and all that.” People of Paris: If you want a peep of ‘Ye and his crew in full bloom, go camp out in the dressing rooms of the most luxurious men’s boutiques in the city right now.
• Speaking of The-Dream: He’s got something cooking, too, and it’s gonna be totally sexy and sexed out and sex and also S.E.X. Terius let it be know that “May 7, my album drops and the name is Fourplay,” and also “I make authentic love-making CDs.” Scoff if you will, but (a) I’m psyched, and (b) Let’s be real: A lot of these R&B dudes are out here singing sex songs so blissful and easy-peasy that we can’t actually take for granted the possibility that they’ve never actually had sex. Fifteen seconds into any given Dream track, though, and you know he’s had sex; lots and lots of sweaty, desperate, kind of greasy, actually sort of sad, really, really, really weird sex. By the way, his new album was originally gonna be called The Love IV (Diary of a Madman), and it’s a good thing it’s no longer called The Love IV (Diary of a Madman) because now the title of my own long-awaited R&B debut can be The Love IV (Diary of a Madman).
• Do you love freedom? Do you love big dreams and open hearts? Do you love the glistening, endless promise each and every last morning brings? In other words: Do you love America, my friend? Well, then, you now know what you’re doing this Independence Day. You’re going to the 2013 Essence Festival in New Orleans, July 4—7, and you’re gonna go see American institution Beyoncé Carter-Knowles headline that goddamn thing. USA. USA. USA.
• Hey, people are buying albums because they saw stuff on TV! Billboard reports on post-Grammys sales jumps, and says, “among the albums heading for a gain of 50% of more compared to the previous week are Album of the Year winner Babel by Mumford & Sons, fun.’s Some Nights, the Black Keys’ El Camino, Frank Ocean’s Channel ORANGE, Miguel’s Kaleidoscope Dream, Jack White’s Blunderbuss and Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger.” Hooray, music industry! We feel so good for you, we won’t even point out that you are more or less the business equivalent of the charred husk of the Montauk Monster.
• Phoenix has released the track list and album cover to their new album, Bankrupt, and announced an April 22 release date. It’s got a drawing of some peaches and a flower on the front. Rock and roll!

• And, finally, Justin Timberlake released another new song, “Mirrors.” Here it is. Please, don’t let us stop you from immediately having sex to it.