If you managed to avoid watching the Tony Awards, here’s the eight-minute opening number for you. It contains many highlights — Mike Tyson, a Once homage, the Matilda children, and something else. What was it? Hmm. Oh yes, the hoop jump. “How is nobody commenting on the fact that he jumped through a fucking hoop?” asked a wise YouTuber. Other commenters were brought to tears and other forms of personal theater-y epiphany. (“I don’t know where’d I’d [sic] be if theatre wasn’t in my life. Simply amazing!”) I’m just left thinking about that time that I got to sit in a seat recently vacated by Mike Tyson as I recorded a Girls in Hoodies podcast and how it felt to absorb all of that crazy pigeon power.

• Speaking of the Tonys, nominee Carrie Coon has been added to The Leftovers pilot, along with former Dr. Who Christopher Eccleston, Amanda Warren, and Ann Dowd.
• 2 Chainz was robbed at gunpoint. He doesn’t want you to worry your pretty little head about it, though, because “the rapper’s entourage fled ‘like cockroaches’ when it all went down.” At least they didn’t take his gold teeth?
• HBO teaser time: Boardwalk Empire’s fourth season and Stephen Merchant’s Hello Ladies.
• Wassup? Shillin’, killin’.
• Try the bacon and potato chip chocolate. Don’t forget to tip your robot.
• The TCA awards nominations include all the usual suspects, but here’s the full list for your perusal.
• “Bella Swan and Edward Cullen already fuck like beasts in Twilight, so why bother wasting precious bandwidth on yet another erotic fan fiction romp? Well, in Studio 33, literally everything you reluctantly know about the two is thrown out the window in favor of turning Bella into a game show model and Edward into Drew fucking Carey.” —The worst sex scenes in fanfic
• A couple of blurbs from the weekendies: Malkovich herovich, and a Rasputin pitch for Leonardo DiCaprio.
• Apple’s new OS is not a cat. Related: Bring me the vertical monitor for my Tetris!
• Ew, creepshots.
• Snoop’s cannabis consultant thought that he was punking her with Weeds posters.
• That art really tied the room together.
• Our lady of the shawl.
• Vintage Louis C.K., with toilets.