The Lonely Island have become grown-ass men. In a new video for YouTube’s Comedy Week, the trio take on the mature subjects of wife sex and cemetery real estate (“wobble-dee-wobble-dee drop into my grave plot”). It goes hard, because it’s #DIAPERCORE. Reggie Watts also debuted a video for YouTube’s celebration with his variation on the Rickroll, faithfully re-creating Rick Astley’s outfits and letting his upper lip dance to ’80s synth like no one is watching.

• Your comprehensive guide to Stefon’s wedding guests, including Wario Batali.
• If you have upward of $1,000 to spend on a sub/dom fantasy, you can score a date with Downton’s valet Bates (Brendan Coyle), during which time you can read poetry to the actor in Central Park, take him to dinner at Per Se, and then “deposit[…] him into a cab” before saying goodnight.
• Seth MacFarlane is too sleepy to host the 2014 Oscars, but thanks for offering.
• Larry David gets a tech-hipster makeover for HBO’s upcoming Clear History.
• Park Chan-wook’s Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance is getting a remake.
• This is the most important GIF from the Billboard Music Awards.
• Anchorman 2 delivers a new teaser trailer and a look at Drake on set shooting his cameo.
• Kate Hudson gets cast as Zach Braff’s wife in his controversially Kickstarted movie Wish I Was Here.
• Why yes, I will watch a scripted, dystopic Survivor-esque show called Siberia.
• The Great Singing Competition Judge Scramble of 2013, X Factor edition.
• Yahoo officially owns Tumblr. Well, we had fun with our ad-free p0rnography for a while.
• New details and photos from Jim Jarmusch’s bohemian vampire film, Only Lovers Left Alive. Tilda Swinton sipping blood from a tiny goblet is so up my alley.
• “You may not be promiscuous when you decide to get a tattoo on your lower back, but you will probably have the opportunity to become promiscuous after you do.”