Ah yes, the slideshow countdown list. The best thing the Internet has ever done for humanity. How groundbreaking of Complex magazine to list the 40 Hottest Women in tech with a cleavage-riddled parade of images accompanied by an intro blurb shaming “the patriarchy.” The author, Luke Winkie, responded to the predictable objections to his piece by blaming Complex for doctoring his list and descriptions: “I pretty much only included normal looking women, who were involved in something really crucial or exciting in the tech space. I made no allusions to their looks in the blurbs, and ended up with simply a long list of very exciting women. Of course when the piece actually ran, I discovered that over half of the women I had included were replaced with people like Morgan Webb, complete with the usual lascivious dialogue. Sigh. It’s hard to win when you’re writing for Complex, but please know that I tried.”

• New York magazine’s “The Retro Wife” cover story was basically just published so that this could exist.
• Ginger fox Robert Redford is “in discussions” to join Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
• R.I.P., Chinua Achebe.
• Ready for spring?
• Amanda Bynes invites Drake to murder her vagina.
• People not ashamed to be in consideration for Fifty Shades of Grey: 1.
• The Batican.
• So this one dude’s making a documentary about meeting up with all of his 788 Facebook friends in person. It’s projected to take three to four years.
• Weezy, T.I., lollipop.
• Planning ahead for Record Store Day.
• “Their back feathers were showing, they were gobbling loudly and had no fear.” Scenes from an angry turkey takeover.
• Scare your children well. You can start with these pear babies.
• “Since when does Perez Hilton look like the fucking Ghost of Christmas Past from Scrooged? He should’ve stayed fat.” —Karma police

[Rides Beetlejuice Minecraft roller coaster off into the weekend.]