Afternoon Links: Spring Breakers vs. Girls VS. Spring Breakers vs. Disney VS. Gucci Mane vs. Sleep
You knew this was coming: It’s time for the Spring Breakers permutations to roll on in. Here we have “Disney’s Princess Spring Breakers” featuring Abby Elliot (“It means no worries for the rest of ya days, y’all”), and here is the Lena Dunham/Alien “Girls Gone Wild” mash-up. “When you really analyze this film you quickly realize that it may be the first movie to ever be cast by the Internet, for the Internet,” so have at it. Gucci Mane was reportedly so stoned during the filming of his sex scene that he passed out. When he woke up, he said “I feel real nice. I feel like Mozart’s on my dick.” Meme time.
- Gerard Butler jokingly called Kim Jong-un a bitch. Jong-un has a great sense of humor, so I’m sure he really appreciated that.
- Bob Newhart is set to appear on The Big Bang Theory.
- I thought she’d been rocking the cheek bling for a while, but Amanda Bynes facial piercings are cropping up in my virtual tabloids, so here. LOOK AT THEM.
- A bunch of celebrity defense attorneys gathered for a panel to discuss the “spoiled brat[s]” they’ve represented.
- WikiLeaks‘ trailer is here. And if I may sneak in another development from the cursed Jane Got a Gun, here is what damage control looks like in the age of transparency.
- Happy birthday, Twitter! I hate you, but I love you.
- These are the texts you get from Mike Tyson when you make fun of his lisp: “You hear me you ostrich looking skinny cheffin’ punk? Laugh now, cry later.”
- “Now take that, chew it my dear and stick it on your lord have mercy you are disgusting fly ridden gum wall. And that’s the advice I have for you my sister.” — Aunt Viv No. 1 to Wendy Williams
- The Sad-Eyed Ladies of the Adlands.
- Here’s a dumb lawsuit against Dr. Oz involving socks filled with rice and microwaved for too long.
- I guess it’s up to you, New York, New York.
- Reading this made me feel like the dirtiest, scummiest person ever, but if you’re a dirty scummyface, you can read the most salacious details of Joe Jonas’s alleged sex tape here in the privacy of your own dungeon. NSFAnywhere.
- This will come in handy for murderers.
- Harrison Ford is probably returning as Han Solo in Star Wars: Episode VII. No jinxies.
- Leggings are way too modest! Legs gotta breathe!