The hot water of controversy that has been sous-viding Paula Deen just accepted another vacuum-sealed pouch of hatred into its steamy bath: MasterChef’s Krissi Biasiello has been called out on racist tweets from May 2012, including one in which she refers to the NBA as “N—–s Bouncing Around #thatsracist.” The hashtag really helps decode that mystery, Krissi, so thank you for that. She has since deleted her personal feed, but her MasterChef handle remains active to accept angry @’s. Krissi’s been ostracized by the other contestants all season without much of an explanation as to why — I assumed she was just really, really bossy — but now it seems possible that she’s just a big jerk. Not as big a jerk, however, as this year’s Big Brother contestants, who are representing themselves even worse than they usually do. Hitler appreciation, n-words, c-words, Asian stereotyping, homophobia … select all, check. What a bag of barfs.

• Let’s just fly to Paris and go to the Pixies concert (with Replacement Kim) and try to forget.
• Or let’s all follow Farrah Abraham to rehab to get treatment for ever giving half a damn about anything she’s ever done in her life.
• Nicki and Ciara, just being awesome and sexy as hell.
• Buzzfeed interrupts its regularly scheduled cats and sandwich-making tutorials to bring you … Middlemarch.
• Rick Rubin, a good listener.
• These rich people are mad that they accidentally spent $50,000 on a finger painting.
• Kanye’s Father’s Day mice.
• Head transplants, brain-violating subway ads, and metadata. Ray Bradbury, come back. We need you.
• Teens be choosin’.
• Here is the Ride Along teaser for you.
• A scholarly meditation on Weird Twitter.
• “Coming up after the break, we’ll be slicing my belly open and watching while smooth black eels loll out in a sinewy cascade of demented horror.” — Russell Brand