Time for the Coachella lineup opinion monsoons! Among the gripes: no holograms, Kurt Vile billed in tiny print, we can’t use the poster as a calendar, somebody must have misspelled “Rolling Stones.” Looks like your 41 year-old cousin finally made his voice heard this year.
At least Modest Mouse’s appearance on the poster, along with the fact that the band has rolled out some new material at recent shows, can hold the hand of the little fifteen year-old inside us all and say, “Shhh, it’s all right.” Plus, we can turn these Coachella opinions into dollars and buy ourselves beautiful rings made of human skin and hair.

• Nature called Stephen Dorff on a Hollywood street and he didn’t let it go to voicemail. Pissing “on public property?” “Yeah, man. That’s the way I do it.”
• NBC picks up a semi-autobiographical pilot from John Mulaney, to be exec-produced by Lorne Michaels.
• Gowanus Dolphin Watch continues with updates about the majestic sea creature stuck in the super-icky waters of the Gowanus canal. Nooo!
• “Forgotten” David Bowie movie Just a Gigolo: “To hear Bowie offer lines like ‘I don’t think we should play around until the Kaiser returns’ is a pleasure of its own.”
• Linda Pugach, the lye-in-the-face victim of Crazy Love who married her attacker, has died at 75.
• I’m considering Kickstarting this Nicolas Cage Superman Lives documentary if I don’t buy that skin ring later today.
• Louis CK tops Rolling Stone’s 50 Funniest People list.
• Don’t get the flu this weekend. Really.