A Next Movie intern named Christopher Rosa has accomplished the remarkable feat of reciting Mean Girls in its entirety (well, almost — ol’ hawkeye in the comments notes four missing words at the 21:38 mark) in under 30 minutes. This is the kind of party trick for which the Internet was invented. I really appreciate his breath control and casual hand-as-phone gestures — extremely nuanced. Enjoy, losers. We’re going shopping.

• Radar has proven itself way too easy to troll.
• Your very favorite songstress/harpist with the voice of “a teething infant” may have joined the cast of Inherent Vice. Is anybody not in Inherent Vice?
• The actor who played Smalls in The Sandlot has been arrested for playing a boozy game of whack-a-cop.
• Kate Winslet and Judy Davis join The Dressmaker, pitched as “Unforgiven with a sewing machine.”
• Your Hillary Clinton miniseries is going to ruin everything.
• The Exorcist may be spinning its head in your television’s direction.
• “But we get the impulse. Our nerd friends grew up on ‘Mystery Science Theater.’ You want to crack your jokes. And you want to make sure that you can keep up your brand on Twitter even while you’re locked in a theater for a while. It’s understandable: it’s the only life you know.” — On the movie shushing debate
• #twogging.
• “I’m Sorry I Fell So Weird When You Tackled Me,” and four more apologies to the LAPD officers who beat up a guy for no reason.
• Sean Hannity really hates Ryan Adams, whoever he is.
• R.I.P., Heathers pilot. :(
• Chinese state media didn’t get the joke. But don’t blame them — it happens all the time.
• Happenings are happening.
• The latest in the Leah Remini–Scientology smackdown: a missing person report for Shelly Miscavige. OooOOOoooo.
• Katy Perry’s Roar album artwork is here. Yawn.
• Lady Gaga practices the Abramović Method, naked and blindfolded and hugging her ancient crystal. NSFW but certainly very relaxing.
• Sean Sasser, AIDS activist and former boyfriend of The Real World’s Pedro Zamora, has died at 44.
• Science rap battles are my favorite thing.