Daft Punk is playing at your house, your house, because Random Access Memories is now streaming free on iTunes. The duo will launch their album this Friday at the Wee Waa festival remotely, possibly via hologram. How robotic.

• Grantland’s own Tara Ariano and David T. Cole present Previously.TV.
• 67,436 Kickstarter dollars later, Detroit finally gets its very own 10 foot tall RoboCop statue.
• Matthew Perry, trapped in a glass box with a reporter who congratulates him on the cancellation of his sitcom.
• The Great Gatsby for cat lovers: The Great Catsby. The Great Gatsby for toilet lovers: The Great Gatspee.
• Barbara Walters announces her retirement, gets sentimental addressing Bloomberg: “I love you, even if you don’t like very tall soft drinks.”
• Dan Brown once made something that you can hate even more than The Da Vinci Code, and it’s an album of soft rock songs, including one about phone sex.
• Franco was spied getting “quite friendly” with the Khaleesi.
• Joss Whedon’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. gets its ABC promo.
• A selection of celebrity cheerleader pasts.
• Slow down, Jaden Smith! You don’t want to fix broken roof tiles or freak out over an ancient Time-Life plumbing manual at midnight. Rent until you’re at least 16.
• Superbrief Bieber cameo on The Simpsons.
• I think I just learned to love Gwyneth Paltrow. “My stylist just donated her hair to Locks of Love, for kids with cancer, so I just cut off her ponytail today. That’s her ponytail, not my vagina.” OK!
• Exporting drugs.
• Jack in a box: 24 returns in May 2014 with 12 new episodes.
• I’ve had it with this motherfucking vibrato on this motherfucking plane.
• The UN would like you to consider eating bugs instead of, like, waffle tacos.
• Nights in white comics.