That is not true. But since Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini would “prefer not to say” why his star striker injured his foot, forcing the Argentine to miss last weekend’s match with Stoke, this weekend’s clash with Sunderland, and possibly even the following game with the hottest team in the Premier Leauge, Arsenal, I am forced to wildly speculate.

“It is a stupid injury,” Mancini said. “It was not his fault but he can’t play with this injury; for one day, 10 days, or two weeks. I don’t know.” We can have a lot of fun imagining what Aguero did to himself; maybe he was doing the Bishop-Aliens-knife trick with his foot instead of his hand …

Maybe his teammates filled a ball with water instead of air and he got himself a knock for the sake of short-term hilarity. I, personally, have been amusing myself for about 22 minutes imagining Aguero spending his free time teaching himself the “indigenous martial arts of the Indonesian Archipelago” and accidentally smashing his ankle on an Italian marble countertop.

Mancini, for his part, can’t really hate the player or the game. This is, after all, a man who regularly likes to play chicken with trash trucks. So who you gonna believe?