Coffee, cigarettes, automobile manufacturing, and NBA trade rumors are what made this nation great. I already had coffee today, I quit smoking a few weeks ago, and I take the subway. So let’s just get into the slanderous, scandalous mongering, shall we?

Two juicy ones Monday:

• At the eye of the rumor storm is Danny Ainge. That should come as no surprise to anyone, as Ainge basically sits in the throne room of the Kingdom of Crazytown. Earlier this season he tried to swap Rajon Rondo for a rental of Chris Paul (who was pretty adamant about not wanting to play in Boston). Then, over the weekend, rumors circulated that Ainge was shopping Paul Pierce. You know who buys this one? Paul Pierce. After a 34-point performance against the Wizards on Sunday, Pierce sadly stated, “Well, maybe it’s my job to go out there and play like I did (Sunday) and push my value up.”
• The other big rumor involves (who else?) Dwight Howard. According to Stephen A. Smith, the Magic have asked the New York Knicks about sending Superman to the Big Apple in return for Amar’e Stoudemire and Tyson Chandler. C’mon, son.