You know what the true benefit of having a Super Bowl ring is? You get a hall pass to life. People can’t tell you nothing. Personally, I have always liked Joe Flacco, his outrageous Delawurr/Jersey accent, and the way he has shrugged off all the spittle-flecked “he can’t lead the Ravens to the promised land” garbage. Now he has a time share in the promised land, and he can give people that M.I.A. middle finger with a Super Bowl ring on it. All this leads us to this fantastic quote from Kevin Van Valkenburg’s awesome ESPN The Magazine profile of the Ravens QB:

“I love Ray, and I love how he always spoke from the heart, but if you listened to those speeches, a lot of them didn’t even make sense. He meant everything he was saying, but I didn’t know what he was talking about 90 percent of the time.”

CHURCH. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE RAY LEWIS’S MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES. When I listen to him scream into my soul, it makes me want to go out and kick down a banana tree …

But let’s be clear: They definitely do not make any sense! Ray Lewis is out there talking about how what if there was no sunlight left like this planet could survive for 20 seconds without sunlight. What if there was no sunlight left? WE’D BE LIVING IN UNDERGROUND CAVES, TURNING INTO MOLE PEOPLE.

I sincerely hope that Joe Flacco, Truth Warrior, is a thing that keeps going. That being said, I’d sleep with both eyes open and wear a suit of armor to bed if I were him.

(h/t to FTW)