You see that hotel right there? That’s the Burj Al Arab Hotel in Dubai. It’s got seven stars. I didn’t even know you could get seven stars. It’s located on an artificial island, and has a restaurant that sits 660 feet in the air and rooms that cost $27,000 per night. And it’s going to look like a bedbug-riddled flophouse in San Francisco’s Tenderloin in comparison to the resort Real Madrid is building.

Provided it can put together the paper.

Last week, we told you about the Spanish football club’s plans to build the luxury resort, complete with marina, amusement park, and stadium. Now we have a few more details.

The complex will be built “in the emirate of Ras al-Khaimah.” According the chief executive in charge of the resort, “The only problem we might face is selecting investors, not so much about whether we have the money to make it, but who will participate, because there are already heaps of people that want to buy most of it.”

Heaps! Hashtag that one #realmadridproblems. Oh, here’s the best part: Guess what the chief executive’s name is? Louis-Armand de Rouge. There must be a real hiring freeze going on in the international jewelry thief industry for a guy with that name to wind up chief executive of Real’s resort.

Real hopes to have the 124-acre resort up and running and hosting the rich and famous by January 2015.

Oh, and if anyone from Real is reading this, please don’t assume our journalistic standards are too high that I wouldn’t junket the hell out of this place. Ask anyone — I’ve always said visiting Ras al-Khaimah is on my bucket list.