Highly Dubious Yet Much-Discussed Item of the Week: Beyoncé’s Altered Song Lyrics

Jay Z and Beyoncé are on tour together. On June 28, they performed in Cincinnati. Her set includes songs from her 2006 album B’Day, and when she sang “Resentment,” she changed a few of the lyrics. Instead of the standard “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could,” she sang, “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like that wack bitch could.” That’s certainly a harsher lyric, but I’m assuming Bey always considered any of Jay’s mistresses to be wack bitches. She’s just saying it now. The more inflammatory lyric change was the difference between “Been ridin’ with you for six years […] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me” and “Been ridin’ with you for 12 years […] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me. She ain’t even half of me. That bitch will never be.” The Carters got together in 2002 (and they wed in 2008), so the “12 years” reference seems to be a not-so-subtle subtweet at her husband. But the logic doesn’t hold. Who was she talking about in 2006 when they’d been together just four years? Perhaps the song has taken new meaning in the time since, but I think this is just another story line created by the Beyoncé Industrial Complex. Keep in mind she delivered the purportedly searing lyrics while dressed in bridal outfit — white pants, a lace top, and veil. Beyoncé wants us to think she’s calling out her husband in a moment of public honesty. No, this is just another set piece.

The Daily Mail is responsible for circulating a rumor that Beyoncé was referring to Mýa, whom Jay dated back in 2000. The Mail also plants the idea that Jay may be supporting Mýa, except there’s no reason to think she’s involved save for her having happened to have been with him back then. Jay Z can afford another family anyway. Beyoncé is no. 1 on the Forbes Celebrity 100 list, having earned an esitmated $115 million from June 1, 2013, through June 1, 2014. Jay is sixth, with $60 million.

Possible Celebrity Rift of the Week: Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi

Radar dropped two stories yesterday about the queen of daytime TV and her wife. First, the newly redesigned gossipmongering site claimed that Portia checked into rehab in Malibu following an explosive fight at her and Ellen’s home back in May. Supposedly, Ellen is controlling and Portia is passive. Hours later, the second story included photos of the couple vacationing in Croatia. If there ever was a rift, they appear to be on the mend. I have no proof of this, but my theory is that Radar’s second story was motivated by fear of Ellen’s wrath. There’s so little negative press about her, and her enterprise generally drips with saccharine bits. That attitude must be counterbalanced a vengeance that is unleashed only on questionable news sources.

Most Fun Vacation of the Week: Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez

Michelle Rodriguez and Zac Efron are on holiday together in Porto Cervo, Sardinia. They’re gallivanting around with a few friends, including Italian entrepreneur Gianluca Vacchi. He’s rich enough for a shell of a Businessweek profile, but his English-language presence is not too robust. Rodriguez also vacationed with him back in 2011, but unless there were musical hijinks, that trip was not as much fun. Zef, Mich, and Gianluca have been choreographing dances and posting them to Instagram. My personal favorite is this one set to Jason Derulo’s “Wiggle.”

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Zac Efron has always had and continues to have fantastic moves.

World Cup WAG of the Week: Carla Kompany

I know the USMNT’s defeat at the hands (or feet, rather) of Belgium is still very raw. We all wish we had more patriotic day-drinking ahead of us (other than July 4, of course). But you can take solace in the fact that Red Devils captain Vincent Kompany has a world-class WAG. First of all, she’s gorgeous. (Google it.) Second of all, she’s 30 and she’s still getting carded … in the United Kingdom, where her husband is a football stud and where the drinking age is 18 but everyone seems to be a heavy drinker by birth. It doesn’t make any sense. The only reasonable conclusion is that she’s just a woman of the people, whom the clerks did not recognize. If you’re in Rio, you may see her hanging around the FIFA Fan Fest.

’90s Reunion of the Week: Dave Coulier’s Wedding

Uncle Joey (of Full House, of course) got married. Danny, Uncle Jesse, DJ, and Kimmy all descended on Montana for the nuptials. As far as child stars and actors from the ’90s go, this group has aged incredibly gracefully. Especially the ladies!

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