The Oscar nominations were announced today and promptly followed by a tradition nearly as cherished as the Academy Awards themselves: a bunch of reporters calling up giddy, sleep-deprived nominees and getting them to freak out on the phone. For the most part, these Oscar nominee reactions follow a tried-and-true formula. Woke up early, got a million texts, can’t believe it, so excited, blah blah blah. But every year, a handful of brave souls venture beyond cliché and give us something a bit meatier. To honor these folks, we present the 2014 “Oscar Nominee Reaction” Oscars.

Best “Case for Belief in Higher Power” Reaction: “I’m beyond humbled by this honor.  All of the praying our ladies have done for the film’s success has clearly paid off! —Morgan Neville, director, 20 Feet From Stardom [EW]

Sweetest Reaction, Movie Involving Nicolas “Not the bees! Not the bees!” Cage” Division: “You’d think as an Oscar hopeful I’d be up at 5:30 a.m. glued to my television, but instead I was in the nursery of my 10-month-old twins experiencing the real power of change – that of diapers.” —Kirk DeMicco, writer/director,  The Croods [EW]

Sweetest Reaction, “Movie Involving Johnny Knoxville’s Fake Old-Man Balls” Division: “My wife, son and I were all glued to the TV and internet this morning  … We worked very hard each day to help bring Irving Zissman to life … a dream come true!” —Stephen Prouty, makeup and hairstyling, Bad Grandpa [EW] 

Best “This Seems Like As Good a Time As Any to Remind Everyone I’m Half-Irish” Reaction: “I’m really chuffed with the Oscar nomination” —Michael Fassbender, director actor, 12 Years a Slave [EW]

Best Totally-Missing-the-Point Reaction: “I’m fighting a little cold here but this will certainly go a long way to boost my immune system.” —David O. Russell, director, American Hustle [THR]

Best “This Seems Like As Good a Time As Any to Remind Everyone We’re All Gonna Die One Day” Reaction: “It’s very positive for the film. I’m mostly happy for the actors, Bruce [Dern] and June [Squibb]. I know what it means for them at this point in their careers.” —Alexander Payne, director, Nebraska [THR]

Most Cruelty-Free Reaction: “It feels absolutely amazing, and I’m incredibly honored to be part of this insanity … [Now] I’m going back to bed and then wake up and make vegan pancakes.” —Jared Leto, actor, Dallas Buyers Club [THR]

Best “This Seems Like As Good a Time As Any to Remind Everyone Seattle Is Boring” Reaction: “People up here in the Northwest celebrate with a sit-down dinner, so that’s the type of enjoyment I’ll have.” —Bob Nelson, screenwriter, Nebraska [THR]

Best “This Will Be Really Awkward If Terence And Rachel Winter Get Divorced in the Next Few Years” Reaction: “I was watching it on TV in our apartment in New York and my wife [Rachel Winter] was watching it in Los Angeles, we were on the phone together and she was nominated for [co-producing Best Picture nominee] Dallas Buyers Club … We were rooting for each other up until now, but that’s it! A line has been drawn in the sand, every man for himself. This means war!” —Terence Winter, screenwriter, The Wolf of Wall Street [THR]

Best Fulfillment-of-Stereotypes Reaction, Part 1: “I’m in Brussels … I didn’t have a plan to celebrate because I’m superstitious about that too. But we’ll have a party, maybe not tonight, that’s too short notice, but tomorrow. We’ll be drinking Duvel or Chimay” —Felix Van Groeningen, director, The Broken Circle Breakdown [THR]