Maybe the Millennium Falcon made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs … once. Today, though? Thing’s getting rusty. I mean, one of its doors injured our beloved 71-year-old Han “Harrison Ford” Solo’s ankle! And he had to be airlifted to a local hospital! Think it’s time to trade in the whip, Han. These new Millennium Priuses don’t go to light speed, but they’re surprisingly reliable and safe on the ankles.

Here’s a terrific first trailer for Alejandro González Iñárritu’s Birdman, starring Michael Keaton, Emma Stone, Edward Norton, Zach Galifianakis, Amy Ryan, and Naomi Watts. It’s gonna be such a Michael Keaton movie.

Jurassic World photos! Chris Pratt on a motorcycle!

Louis C.K. and more celebrities want TMZ’s Tracy Morgan crash video taken down. TMZ, of course, always acts in the interest of both celebrities and the greater good.

Two can play at the summer super-tour game, Bey and Jay. Enter the Drake vs. Lil Wayne Tour.

Janelle Monáe covered Bowie’s “Heroes” on Letterman. It’s World Cup–affiliated.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBpN5ngEIo4

Doctor Who, Disneyfied.

Aziz Ansari, arena comedian.

Robin Thicke’s new album is named Paula, after his estranged wife Paula Patton. You know what they say: If she doesn’t want you back, name a whole record after her.

More Journeels: Steve Perry joins the Eels to perform “Lights” in L.A. [via]

Deadline founder Nikki Finke has kicked off her solo act: “I’m all about this town’s gritty reality exposed through the harsh glare of my reporting. And if you don’t want to read about what’s really going on in Hollywood, then for crissakes don’t click here … I want to be your cruel and quirky alternative to Deadlame and Valiety and The Hollywood Unreported and TheCrap.”

Jake Gyllenhaal will make his Broadway debut this fall in Constellations, about “two strangers who continue to meet by chance under the parallel universe framework of string theory.”

Sarah Paulson is playing conjoined twins on American Horror Story: Freak Show.
http://twitter.com/MsSarahPaulson/status/477151870700384256/

And this is the first trailer for Paddington, about the English stuffed bear.
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