Thought I was going to lead with Paula Deen, didn’t you? Nope! Gonna bury her down below and hammer your consciousness with almost five minutes of John Goodman losing his shit instead. This week’s been heavy on apologies and way too light on yelling and indignation. Damn! [wall punch.] Ha! [Head slam, wall punch reprise.]

• Bats singing the Batman theme.
• Michael Jackson’s propofol infusions deprived him of REM sleep for a record-breaking 60 days.
• Amanda Bynes is collaborating with Waka Flocka Flame on an album. Crazy, or “crazy hot”?
• Mosquitoes, non-dairy creamer, and more behind-the-scenes trivia from Are You Afraid of the Dark?.
• A bittersweet homecoming. Related: looking forward to your 30s.
• “Hey, have you guys seen the Supermoon?” is what I will be doing all weekend.
• Give this trailer a hand: Jobs.
• The Community cast’s rejected audition tapes for The Way, Way Back.
• Showtime is developing a David Cross comedy.
• No “My Way”?!
• I don’t care if “remember when” is the lowest form of conversation: Do it, Rockapella.
• Moar literary biopix!
• Spike Jonze nixed Samantha Morton for ScarJo.
• Now for the Deen apologies, in small print: Paula stood up Matt Lauer on Today, then released her own apology videos, including a cryptically edited one (what was that about?). For the most part she seems to remain unforgiven, and the butter queen has lost her contract with the Food Network. Meanwhile, Kickstarter issued a mea culpa for allowing a misogynistic seduction guide to remain on its site, where the project fulfilled its fund-raising goal and pledged to donate $25,000 to anti-sexual violence charity RAINN. Now that’s how you do it.