Happy cat video festival day — and no, I’m not going to waste an exclamation point on that. Friends, today is the day when thousands of people will congregate in Minnesota to watch cat videos together, because according to the festival’s organizers, “We wanted to make it more of a group experience instead of a solo act you do on your phone or computer.” My mind is dirtier than a litter box, so I’m just going to skim right past that one and onto the next sub-topic of cat videos, which happens to be this Funny or Die short starring Julie Klausner as Shula Von Hollow, “the Stanley Kubrick” of cat videographers. Cat videos may get old, but you know what never does? Humans eating feline vittles straight from the can, maybe even the “breakfast Fancy Feast meals with the eggs.” Don’t forget the aspic. Never forget the aspic.

• [THREAT NOISE]: David Morrissey, a.k.a. The Walking Dead’s the Governor, is starring in the new AMC drama Line of Sight. Both shows shoot in Atlanta, but consider yourself warned. The Governor’s days may be numbered.
• A list of the 25 buzziest movies from the fall festival circuit.
• “I hate these thick pines!”
• Charlie Sheen continues to live inside a Dr. Octagon album.
• Perusing this comments section will make you feel bad.
• Creepy thin-powder Sensa is being sued by Octavia Spencer after the company balked when she added a #spon to her sponsored tweets.
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas have reportedly split.
• Will & Grace’s Leslie Jordan has joined American Horror Story: Coven.
• John DeLuca has been cast alongside Ashley Greene in Lorne Michaels’s Staten Island Summer.
• John Wells is hard at work on a serialized drama based on Outbreak for NBC.
• Fully on board with adding “vom” to the OED.
• The last laugh: revisiting Interiors.
• “‘Hey, y’all wanna see a video ’bout buttwater?’ I obviously said, ‘yes’ and when I saw it I almost dickwatered my own pants from laughing so hard.” — Thanks, Vice!
• Hoop dream pop.
• Timbaland + MJ.
• Replaying the best replays.
• Headline of the day: Strange magnetic monster found lurking inside dead star.