Posts by Tess Lynch
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Upstaged by Pencils: Lindsay Lohan’s Big SNL Comeback
Lindsay Lohan deserves a reward — well, maybe not a reward per se, but some kind of badge or framed acknowledgment of the fact that she is like a human Jenga tower. She’s an ambitious stack — she falls down and knocks over ashtrays and gets too drunk to keep from toppling over — but […]
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Survivor: One World, Episode 3 – The Sadness of Ember-Grubbing in ‘One World Is Out the Window’
Every season of Survivor — like any reality show/contest that starts with a cast so big you can’t distinguish between some of them until they’re tossed a minor plot line on the same day they’re eliminated — improves with time. This was the episode where you finally could remember which one was Tarzan (the elder) […]
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Survivor: One World Week 2, ‘Total Dysfunction’
Guess what? None of the women on the Salani tribe have made their earrings into fishing hooks yet. In fact, last night’s episode of Survivor revolved almost completely around how much Salani has failed: in challenges, in team spirit (last week, Kristina and Alicia clashed at tribal council; this week, “bag of rocks” Nina and […]
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Oscar Snubs: Tilda Swinton, Project Nim, and Parenting Worst-Case Scenarios
Two of the biggest snubs of this year’s Academy Awards happen to be two of my favorite movies of 2011. Neither of them is Drive, although Drive was really good and the music was so effective that two nights ago the song with the gravelly robot voice played in my dream. (As I recall, it […]
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Survivor: One World: Let the Gender-Segregated Games Begin!
Last night’s premiere of Survivor: One World was promising. First of all, this season has retired Redemption Island, which I found sort of boring and full of too much creepy night vision, and second of all, the cohabitating tribes are divided into men (Manono) versus women (Salani). That’s fun, because every time someone opens his […]
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Pinterest: The Sticking-Pins-in-the-Internet Social Network You Never Knew You Needed So Badly
I don’t think I get Pinterest. The Internet tries to explain the point of the Most Important Website in the World, sometimes resorting to video and slideshows, but more often it just suggests, as USA Today did, that you “find the nearest twenty- or thirtysomething woman. She’ll likely know what’s up and can tell you […]
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Demi Moore and the Most Depressing Alleged Celebrity Overdose in Tabloid History
Whippets are the least glamorous drug known to man. The term “whippets” is already demoralizing, bringing to mind anorexic dogs, run-down supermarket refrigerator aisles, and shaggy teenagers in a dirty rec room. The coverage of Demi Moore’s reported whippet overdose is no less grubby: Here, an unflattering paparazzi photo of Rumer Willis on TMZ with […]
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The Creepiest Stalkers in Pop Culture History
Just like serial killers, sociopathic children, and nudists, celebrity stalkers are much more fascinating when viewed through an artistic lens. A real person with a serious mental illness is not so much fascinating as he is sad. The people who stalk their psychiatrists, their exes, and, of course, celebrities and microcelebrities range from the seriously […]
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Hater’s Guide: The Case Against The Descendants
Oh, how lonely it is to be in the minority of viewers who hate an acclaimed movie. It’s like watching your friends throw their hands up on Space Mountain and go “Wheeee!” when you’re just claustrophobic and nauseated in outer space, or deciding to leave the slumber party early just as someone pulls out a […]
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The People Who Hate Glee Creator Ryan Murphy
A person doesn’t become a pioneer of rear-entry scenes without accumulating a few detractors. Ryan Murphy’s haters are a diverse group: from the Parents Television Council, predictably wishing sex and other interesting things off the airwaves, to former fans who are sick (Sick! Green at the gills!) of illogical plot twists and disappointing season finales […]
