Zlatan Ibrahimovic Just Proved There Is No Spoon

ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC IS SO OVERRATED I MEAN SURE HE’S WON NINE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIPS AND BEEN SERIE A FOOTBALLER OF THE YEAR THREE TIMES BUT HE’S DEFINITELY NEVER SCORED FOUR GOALS FOR SWEDEN IN ONE MATCH AGAINST ENGLAND THE FOURTH OF WHICH WAS A MIND-ALTERING BICYCLE KICK FROM MILES OUTSIDE THE AREA BECAUSE IF HE DID SOMETHING THAT AMAZING WE’D HAVE TO ADMIT THAT MAYBE HE WASN’T A SPOILED LOSER AFTER ALL OH WAIT NO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HE XXXXX//////FFFFF#SLKFJLGFKDJ)%($*)~~~~~///

[drive meltdown]

[drive meltdown]

[drive meltdown]

[please reboot soccer at the prompt]

Filed Under: Brian Phillips, Eat My Goal

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Brian Phillips is a staff writer for Grantland.

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