The Headliner

The Iron Lady

The new Iron Man sequel. Ever since a friend drew my attention to the SNL sketch “Meryl Streep: Ice Show at the Garden” (with Abby Elliott as Meryl Streep) that is the only thing I can think about any time I see Meryl Streep. A friend of mine claims this movie hinges on Streep playing up Thatcher’s pursed-lip sexuality. You’ll have to judge for yourself, as there is no way I am going to personally verify that.

New and Notable

Worried About The Boy

A BBC Boy George biopic starring the beautiful, dyslexic UK actor Douglas Booth (soon to be seen as Romeo in a Romeo & Juliet reboot) as the titular boy. Traces the story of George O’Dowd’s life; leaving his square parents who don’t understand his style of androgynous dress to move into a squat with a male Marilyn Monroe, working at the Blitz Club, cruising for sex, crushing on musicians, and ultimately forming Culture Club.

We Have a Pope

An Italian comedy about papal resignation. I laughed at the volleyball joke in the trailer!

ATM

AN EVIL ATM.

A Bird of the Air

A wayward, 80-year-old talking parrot brings together two good-looking, unlucky-in-love people. A dog wears tinted goggles. Old folks dispense wisdom. Muscle cars are attacked. Looks like a fake indie movie, doesn’t it? To quote commenter MrGuNuT: “A GOD DAM PARROT REALLY.” Plus a cameo from Buck Henry! Written by Roger Towne, who also wrote The Natural and is seriously Robert Towne’s brother. The Towne brothers grew up in San Pedro, the little Southern California seaport town Don Draper loves to visit.

Norwegian Wood

“I was turning 20 and was in love, which was taking me to a very complicated place.” A Japanese adaptation of the wistful Haruki Murakami novel about the romantic complications of young friends during 1969. Looks like a hipster wet dream, all typewriter font, bonfires, foggy forests, shaggy haircuts, scarves, and evocative barrettes. You know I’ll watch the ever-loving shit out of this.

100 Years of Evil

“What if Adolf Hitler didn’t die?” And somebody made a kind of broad, Zelig-style comedy about it? Here ya go. Good fake documentary music.

Caught Inside

“When a tight-knit group of surfers venture to a secluded island paradise on the ‘surfari’ of their lives, they make the mistake of bringing the one thing that can tear them apart. A beautiful young woman.” If you like things about primal human nature coming out in idyllic, isolated circumstances and Australians saying “dickhead,” this boat’s for you.

The Darkest Hour

Alien attack movie set in decadent Moscow and beyond! With Emile Hirsch and Olivia Thirlby, directed by Chris Gorak (art director on Fight Club, Minority Report, and The Man Who Wasn’t There).

Smitty

Mira Sorvino has an Oscar. Peter Fonda was in Easy Rider. This movie stars a dog.

Reuniting the Rubins

Will someone please cast Timothy Spall and Steve Little as brothers in something?

GANTZ 2: Perfect Answer

Featureless black sphere “GANTZ summons people who are believed to be dead to fight aliens. In order to escape the GANTZ dimension, they must survive the fight with the aliens.” Mind you, this is the sequel. Based on the popular GANTZ manga series.

Suing the Devil

Starring Malcolm McDowell as Satan and Tom Sizemore as Tony “The Hip” Anzaldo. What it suuuuuuuuuue.

House of Boys (NSFW!)

Big green Mohawks! Teeny jorts! Soft Cell’s “Sex Dwarf!” I guess the subtheme of this week’s column is “gay romances set in ’80s Europe.” House of Boys is a period AIDS drama and has Udo Kier saying “welcome to the house of boys.” This trailer is not even a little bit safe for work.

“In Theaters” VOD Pick

Speed Demons

Ed Wood–grade biker-vampire horror comedy. “BRING ME THE DAYWALKER!” I’m already here!

Weird Indie of the Week

Into the Abyss

Werner Herzog documentaries are always compelling, no matter what they’re about. This one happens to be about death row inmate Michael Perry and offers “a gaze into the abyss of the human soul.”

Early VOD Premiere of the Week

God Bless America

Bobcat Goldthwait, believe it or not, has transitioned into directing quite gracefully for a man with such an undignified voice. His last two features, Sleeping Dogs Lie and World’s Greatest Dad, were both black comedies set in heightened naturalistic worlds. God Bless America looks to be another dark satire, Lolita x Heathers x Southland Tales x Taxi Driver x Falling Down. Starring Joel Murray (FREDDY RUMSEN!) as the old white dude pushed to the brink of his sanity.

Masochist’s Choice

The Terror Experiment

C. Thomas Howell, Judd Nelson, Robert Carradine, and Jason London in a no-budget thriller about an explosion that releases a deadly airborne agent. If you put glasses on a Z-list actor, he is smart.