The New ‘22 Jump Street’ Trailer Has All the Hot Jonah Hill–on-Angry-Cephalopod Action You Need

There is a new trailer for 22 Jump Street. It’s not another dirty one, but what it lacks in swear words and frank discussion of penis shootings it more than makes up for in octopus attacks and awkward gang encounters.

On the fantasy-casting couch in your mind, did you choose A Good Day to Die Hard’s Jai Courtney as your new Kyle Reese in the upcoming Terminator reboot? If so, congratulations! If not, maybe you had better luck with the Mother of Dragons as Sarah Connor or Jason “Zero Dark Thirty” Clarke as John Connor. But you had no chance of getting Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator itself, because that is a crazy idea that is never going to work. He is 100 years old and machines don’t age.

There is no way that a Jared Leto–Miley Cyrus romantic pairing is going to end well. He has better hair, and that will always be a point of contention.

Here comes Jada Pinkett-Smith as the Penguin’s criminal superior in Gotham, playing “Fish Mooney, a sadistic gangster boss and nightclub owner who has the street smarts and almost extra-sensory abilities to read people like an open book.”

Jerry Seinfeld is a little bit cranky about parenting. A little bit.

Wendell Pierce is going to Ray Donovan next season as a “down on his luck parole officer who gets a payoff from Ray (Liev Schreiber).” In related news, we should, as a society, be finding better things for Bunk to do.

Hitfix unleashed a huge oral history for the 20th anniversary of Reality Bites.

Facebook is buying smartphone messaging app WhatsApp for $19 billion. Is that still a lot of money?

Filed Under: Afternoon Links