Park your DeLoreans and call your cousins: The most sought-after fictional invention of the Back to the Future trilogy is finally here! No, not Hoverboards. Or double-tie fashion. Or time-traveling steam-engine trains. Or Jaws 19. Or the world champion Miami Gators. No, it’s the other one: Nike’s self-tying Air Mag high-tops. Get excited, sneaker dorks and lazy people!

Judging from this hyperventilating blog post and the fairly unsubtle teaser above, the shoe giant will today reveal its plans to make Marty McFly’s footwear available to the layman — and four years early, to boot. While this is undoubtedly exciting from a fashion standpoint, it leaves our inner futurist a bit discouraged. After all, we’re still way off schedule for flying cars, multiracial/pansexual orgies, and being led by a council of po-faced, contraction-hating elders in monochromatic robes. So enjoy your fancy tennis shoes if you must. Just remember to wake us when automobiles start running on beer and banana peels.

Update: The shoes are not self-tying.