Dear Mr. Greenblatt,

Well, Bob, you did it. You really did it. The Grantland office just burst into a lively celebration when we heard that Parenthood got its much-deserved Season 5 pickup. In case you forgot, while you were determining the fate of our favorite (scripted) show, we were sending you weekly missives that should give your writers’ room a little head start. You don’t have to use these ideas, but you should because they are brilliant and chock-full of those signature cry moments. SO EXICTED FOR NEW CRY MOMENTS. We’re fired up. We’re sure you read our ideas every week, but here’s a little refresher course on the ones you should could use for Season 5:

• Week 1: We up and killed Camille (sad face) but brought Victor and Sydney together (happy face).
• Week 2: Max had a crush, this time not on a vending machine, and Amber and Sarah went straight Thelma and Louise.
• Week 3: We got Adam super high.
• Week 4: We went tear-jerky when Zoe returned to Joel and Julia’s modern home seeking refuge and was turned away.
• Week 5: We gave Haddie some much-needed edge and got Drew slammered (theme week!).
• [And then we took two weeks off because this was getting emotionally exhausting.]
• Week 8: We shined the spotlight into the Braverman in-law shadows and learned that Joel is nothing like his parents, then finally met Kristina’s mom (we really need to meet Kristina’s mom, Mr. Greenblatt).
• Week 9: We brought back Minka Kelly because like sunshine, money, and sleep, you can never get enough Minka Kelly. And we ushered in the return of Ray Romano, because Ray Romano.
• Week 10 saw Drew go all Skrillex and become a famous EDM DJ for the molly-poppin’ masses and brought on the first Braverman brush with reality TV.
• Week 11: Sarah became the voice for the middle-aged slacker set and sent the Bravermans on some field trips.

That should get the ball rolling, right, Mr. Greenblatt? Again, we really appreciate you bringing back the Bravermans, and we will be spending the next five weeks perfecting our “I’m not really crying, just wiping my cheek” faces.

Hallelujah!
Juliet and Jacoby