I JUST WENT TO THE CIGARETTE STORE AND BOUGHT A CARTON OF PARLIAMENTS. I WENT TO THE BOLO STORE AND BOUGHT A BOLO. I WENT TO THE BRASS KNUCKLES STORE, BUT THOUGHT BETTER ABOUT MY LIFE DECISIONS.

True D is back. There will be overhead shots of freeway interchanges, Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn competing in a hollow-eyes decathlon, an emaciated and emo Tim Riggins, and Rachel McAdams serving all the warrants.

I know you think you hate this show, but if the hair on the back of your neck doesn’t stand up when you see Farrell pull a face mask on and do the one-finger shush, then you better check your pulse. Cancel your summer vacation. True Detective returns June 21.