This is the full text of an article that was posted by E! Online today. It was accompanied by a picture of Taylor Swift making her way out of a vehicle. (Interpretive annotations are my own.)

Taylor Swift was spotted in Los Angeles on Wednesday as she made her way out of a vehicle. [Tell me more!]

Casually dressed [in a transparent effort to spite her tormentors], the country cutie stepped out on the same day [coincidence!?!?!?!?] that Tina Fey told a photographer to “go f–k yourself” [So not casual of her!] when asked about Swift’s remark that she and Amy Poehler are destined for Hades. [Do you like how relevant these details are to Taylor getting out of that car?]

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• Tina Fey tells photog to “go f–k yourself” when asked about Taylor Swift [The video got taken down, so you’ll just have to imagine Tina Fey launching herself at the cameraman and clawing his eyes out like a menopausal monster, rather than being funny and lighthearted and Tina Fey–ish about it, which I think we can all agree is probably how it went down — I mean, I didn’t watch it, but I assume Tina (I feel comfortable calling her by her first name now that she’s involved in a celebrity feud — #TeamTina #TeamTaylor #TeamJournalisticIntegrity!) acted like a jealous old hag because even though she’s “smart” and “has a sense of humor,” all older women lose their minds when younger women take shots at them. It is probably all she can think about right now. Have you guys seen Nashville? Omigod, so good.]

In the latest issue of Vanity Fair, Swift expressed her annoyance [Hell hath no fury like a woman annoyed!] at a quip made by Fey and Poehler at the Golden Globes regarding the singer’s love life.

“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women,” she told the mag. [Buuurrrnnn! That was almost as catty as that time she got out of that vehicle in casual clothes to spite Tina Fey!]