One of the best features of The Colbert Report is the “People Destroying America” segment, and the video above is a prime example. Johnny Cummings is the mayor (and hairdresser) of a small town in Kentucky called Vicco, and he’s openly gay (and openly awesome). His townsfolk love him, testifying to the Colbert reporters that “he’s made everything better” in Vicco, something he accomplished in part by passing a law that prohibits discrimination based on sexual preference. His sole detractor seems to be a pastor, whose objections are overshadowed by all the love Cummings gets from the rest of his Viccoans (Vicconians?). Luckily, “he’s got the law on his side”: He’s so popular, he’s best friends with the local law enforcement.

• Police responded to tweets from a man in Toronto who was looking to score some weed with “Awesome! Can we come too?”
• Lifetime casts Kiernan Shipka, otherwise known as Sally Draper, as (SPOILER!) incestuous sister Cathy Dollanganger in Flowers in the Attic. Don is going to be appalled.
• Peep, if you will, this trailer for Hayao Miyazaki’s latest film, The Wind Rises.
• People are starting to get really steamed at Time Warner, which is pretty easy because Time Warner likes to keep its customers’ anger gently simmering at all times.
• Lisa Robin Kelly, who played Eric Forman’s sister on That ’70’s Show,has died in a California rehab facility. She was 43 years old.
• Listen up, gamers: This is what Sims 4 will look like. Plus: female soldiers added to Call of Duty.
• The man-melting power of Baduizm.
• Russell Simmons is sorry about that Harriet Tubman thing. It’s OK, Russell. You gave us Do You! and because of this, I will forgive you.
• Wrestler Darren Young told TMZ (at LAX, where important news breaks) that he’s gay, and the WWE offered him its support.
• Interesting theory about Laura Prepon’s Orange Is the New Black departure: Did Xenu command her to quit?
• Tonight will be John Oliver’s last night on hosting duty at The Daily Show. Jon Stewart returns September 3.
• “THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ‘LEFTOVER CHOCOLATE’!”
• Say hello to my little friend.
• The New York Post has fired writer V.A. Musetto, a veteran Post-er and the person responsible for one of the most famous headlines in history, “Headless Body in Topless Bar.”
• Famke Janssen never wanted to be the girl with the most cake: The guy who left a copy of The Lonely Doll by her bed has been stalking her for a while.
• Today I leave you with this, the best headline of the day: Chinese Zoo Under Fire for Disguising Hairy Dog As Lion.