The Dexter series finale was everything Breaking Bad’s closer wasn’t: namely, pretty lame. Was there any way it could’ve been better? Like, if the guy who killed so many people over the last eight years tasted his own medicine, maybe? Quizzed by Vulture about how the writers wound up with that exact disappointing ending, Dexter producer John Goldwyn said, “How about that finale? They won’t let us kill him. Showtime was very clear about that. When we told them the arc for the last season, they just said, ‘Just to be clear, he’s going to live.’ There were a lot of endings discussed because it was a very interesting problem to solve, to bring it to a close.” Scribble out “interesting,” stick with “problem,” and that’s your show’s new legacy forever, buddy.

• In case you missed it before your lavish weekend began: Halle Berry’s doing a 13-episode sci-fi show for CBS.
• Bryan Cranston’s Lyndon B. Johnson play All the Way is heading to Broadway. The Post is readying a “BREAKING BROADWAY!!” headline.
• A heckler told Fiona Apple to “get healthy” at a show on Friday. Pitchfork interviewed Fiona about the situation: “I don’t even know what I’m being accused of. Do they think I’m on drugs? That I have a life-threatening illness? Do they think that I’m anorexic? At this point, emotionally, it doesn’t get easier to hear those criticisms — but it gets easier to be resolute about my reaction to it. Which is just: ‘Go ahead and call me ugly, call me skinny, call me crazy and speculate as much as you want, but not at a show.'”
• Here’s a new trailer for Ben Stiller’s The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Adam Scott has a severely unfortunate facial-hair thing happening in this one.
• Alfonso Cuarón answers a lot of questions about Gravity, and an astronaut fact-checks the movie.
• ABC orders a Kevin Hart divorce sitcom.
• Recent Doctor Who graduate Matt Smith is playing Patrick Bateman for the American Psycho musical in London.
• Once Upon a Time had a totally unexpected, vastly uncomfortable magic moment last night.
• Bieber’s new song steals its cover art and title from Kanye, and everything else from Drake.
• Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP cover is a Jeff Koons sculpture.
• And Chris Brown lost his virginity at age 8: “Like, girls, we weren’t afraid to talk to them; I wasn’t afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.” Oh.