Here’s a look back at Rob Lowe’s bad date with a princess on the stage of the 61st Academy Awards: “Poor Snow White. She didn’t have the dwarves to support her.”

• The fake Guy Fieri menu that featured “38 oz of super-saddened, Cheez-gutted wolf meat” lifted many of its jokes from Twitter without credit. Oh well. We’ll always have Fuds. More lunch crimes: Ke$ha regurgitating some cannoli filling into other people’s mouths; soup optimization and the science of addictive crunchy thangs; and, oh yeah, there might be glass in your Special K. Crunch crunch!
• Watching Scooby-Doo Live! on Fox News will make you curl into yourself like an embarrassed bug being poked in the softest part of your undercarriage. In a bad way. Going to start burning this magic Fuck You Fox News candle now.
• Conan O’Brien is set to host this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Here he is hosting in 1995, five hundred thousand years ago. #tunacasserolejokes
• Someone get Michael Moore a spandex suit and a cape.
• Shia LaBeouf abandons his Orphans with a note pinned to its onesie: I can no longer care for this Broadway play. Please take it in and nurture it as if it were your own.
• Kimmel’s Valentine’s Day pranks, including a sampler of critters and a kidney stone.
• Lisa Lampanelli’s ongoing publicity/controversy hunt continues. She’s got Lena Dunham in her claws and she’s not letting go until you pay attention to her. “Guess what, people? [She] won’t stop anytime soon.” :(
• Smashing Chairs with Billy Corgan.
• The way you sip that tea gets me overwhelmed.
• The same rules apply for this mannequin guitar as the regular variety: no “Stairway.” Denied.
• Centaurs seek wedding dates.
• My, what a pretty and informative Oscar infographic! Do you work out?