Philip Seymour Hoffman recently checked out of a 10-day stay at a detox center to address a narcotics problem (he was clean for 23 years, according to TMZ, before relapsing last year). The actor admitted to snorting heroin for a week. First James Lipton pimpin’ and now this? Life is so rich. Hang in there, PSH.

• Lindy West and Jim Norton enter the ring to debate the hilarity of rape jokes.
• Lars von Triers’s script tease: “Using the literary device of chapters to segment his movies is nothing new for von Trier, who used it for such features as Melancholia and Dogville. But the director appears to be taking things to a new level with Nymphomaniac and goes so far as to claim he is creating a new film genre he has christened Digressionism.”
• High school Jessica Simpson is terrifying.
• The Backstreet Boys, dressed in protective smocks and holding pandas.
• “When I started angrily posting about this on Facebook and Twitter, many of my nonscientist friends asked me why it matters if people believe in mermaids. It matters because the ocean is extremely important.” — Whatever, dog. DON’T STOP BELIEVING, HOLD ON TO THAT SEA THIIIING.
• Is After Earth a paean to Xenu?
• Stop messing with me!
• Hannibal, which just got the go-ahead from NBC for a second season, has given a lot of thought to Dr. Lecter’s plates.
• Michael Green is in talks to pen the Blade Runner sequel.
• The business of ghost tours.
• FX casts human diamond Judy Greer in a comedy pilot.
• Third Reich meth: “Hitler himself was given intravenous injections of methamphetamine by his personal physician, Theodor Morell.”
• And one lonely voice whispered, “Nobody said Vinnie Delpino?”