Charlie Sheen rode a tank onto the Warner Brothers lot. (“I used to be able to cruise on in. Not anymore.”)

• While all of you childless young bucks are off at Coachella wearing fedoras and printed shorts, pour one out for those of us who can party only during nap time. We’ll be the ones in the theater crying bittersweet parent tears when Go the Fuck to Sleep the movie comes out. At least we have the Misfits dolls to look forward to purchasing (though Jem and the Holograms was a pretty depressing toon in its way), which is great because, dude, look at this racist Barbie. Way to murder my Dreamhouse nostalgia. Tread lightly on the Trolls franchise, DreamWorks. See you under the bridge of youth.
• R.I.P. Jonathan Winters.
• Oh look! Tiny succulents for $1.99 and that’s a pretty nice refrigerator and OH MY GOD HE’S SAWING HIS ARMS OFF!
• Accidental trailer parody alert: Batman Begins, the romcom.
• Say, I smell bacon. Does anyone else smell bacon? Related: Don’t leave it to beavers.
• Being a Southland fan is the least/most rewarding experience. At this point I’m just leaving it to die because I can’t take the anxiety.
• Desperately seeking Shosh.
• Pre-Veep.
• The Newsroom returns in July for its second season.
• Happy weekend, y’all.