10 Better Nicknames Than ‘Jerry’ for Justin Bieber’s Junk

Were you aware that Justin Bieber’s penis has a nickname? Of course you weren’t, you’re a grown-up and a visitor to a Web site that is generally a Bieber-Free Zone, a safe place from this sort of nonsense. Apparently, his fans have dubbed his junk “Jerry,” and “Jerry” has been trending on Twitter, because that is a social-networking site primarily dedicated to the dissemination of breaking news about the genitalia of tennis-ball-headed pop stars. But before you click away from this post in disgust, can we all first agree that this is a terrible nickname for Justin Bieber’s penis? Here are 10 better names, off the top of our heads, with very little forethought:

  • Carl
  • Alfonso
  • Boyfriend
  • Rusty
  • My Little Pony (h/t Ginuwine)
  • Wheels
  • Put That Thing Away, This Is Sesame Street, Not Cool
  • Captain Swagger
  • Linda
  • Steve

We’re done here.

Filed Under: Beliebe It, Justin Bieber

Mark Lisanti is an editor at Grantland.

Archive @ marklisanti