Posts by Tess Lynch

  • Afternoon Links: The Grammy Gossip and Pope Jokes Never End

    Buuuuuuurn. Patrick Carney of The Black Keys dissed Grammy-snubbed Justin Bieber, saying that “he’s making a lot of money. He should be happy.” You know what’s better than a million dollars? A billion dollars. You know what’s better than a billion dollars? A billion dollars and a Grammy. You know what’s better than a billion dollars […]

  • SNL Episode 13: Swaggy, Swaggy, Swaggy

    A bunch of pre-teenagers and pre-teenagers-at-heart got to stay up past their bedtimes on Saturday to scream swoonily for Justin Bieber. I know this because I could hear them in the audience. Fans waited in line in the blizzard to get tickets for the show, attempting (and failing) to complete their homework, only vacating their […]

  • Afternoon Links: W. Paints Himself, Anne of Green Gables Dyes Her Hair, and HBO Takes Home Some Leftovers

    I think I prefer George W. Bush’s hacked “in-progress” paintings to Emile Hirsch’s completed ones. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Why wouldn’t he have hacked these himself? Maybe he was as self-deprecating about his hobby as Eisenhower was. They almost make you like him. Jerry Saltz writes: “We’ve seen two images of […]

  • Afternoon Links: Lizzy Caplan’s ‘Fashion Film’ Is the Perfect Fashion Week Antidote

    Lizzy Caplan’s spoofy commercial “Fashion Film” is like ASMR meets an Anthropologie catalogue. “Sometimes I think to myself in French, and listen to old records from the ’60s. They’re way better than stuff today.”

  • Afternoon Links: The Grammys Button Up

    I’m officially not watching the Grammys anymore. No “puffy” bare skin around the genitals? Whateverrrr!

  • Afternoon Links: The Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Video That You Must Watch If You Don’t Want to Feel Left Out of the Internet This Week

    Obviously, you should not hitchhike unless you really have no other choice. It’s also wise, in general, to avoid killing someone with a hatchet. But if you HAVE to hitchhike, and you HAVE to kill someone with a hatchet, you really should do it just like this. Homeless hitchhiker Kai Has-No-Last-Name (“No, bro, I don’t […]

  • Making Our Way Through The ABCs of Death, One Mangled Cat at a Time

    One summer when I was a kid, I went swimming in a pond against my family’s protests. I was a tomboy and I didn’t mind skipping along the slippery shore composed almost entirely of goose feculence and dead one-eyed minnows, and pushing stinky algae aside to relax in the wet funk. Halfway through my dip […]

  • Afternoon Links: Introducing Your 2013 Puppy Bowl MVP

    Congratulations to Marta, the MVP of the Puppy Bowl. Besides bolstering the efforts of animal rescue organizations, the Puppy Bowl serves as an adorable (I hate that word, but let’s call it like it is) example of the trend of celebritizing animals: “A famous animal can become an ambassador for its species, inspiring efforts to […]

  • Afternoon Links: Scranton Ads, Death Cats, and CUMBERBATCH!

    Here is a crowd-sourced Dunder Mifflin ad that will air during the Super Bowl in Scranton, and only in Scranton. • Oh, and hey guys, got any hot sexy plans this weekend? Maybe gonna eat some poached veal with Larry King? Wear something trampy on your date with a pickup artist skeeve in a rape […]

  • Afternoon Links: Beyoncé Does It Live, Roseanne Barr and Lena Dunham Do It Again

    Beyoncé sings the national anthem live at a Super Bowl press conference, admits to lip-synching at the inauguration, and says, “I love haters.” This is a woman with an infallible, built-in biological PR chip. [Applause.]

Load More Results