Posts by Tess Lynch
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Miss Utah Crowned New Miss Babbling YouTube Victim USA
Last night, the Miss USA pageant took place in Vegas. I will pretend you care about the particulars for a second and then move on to the point: The Biggest Loser trainer Bob Harper and Mo Rocca joined Betsey Johnson on the show’s panel, with Rocca “prais[ing] the pageant as a prime example of Americana”; […]
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Afternoon Links: Dean Cain Is Reporting for Man of Steel Duty
It never feels good to be replaced. Dean Cain had his cape all ready to go for Man of Steel; he just needed a quick shave in a phone booth and to fly back in time to film the role. Gene Wilder was not so game, recently going on the record to air his displeasure […]
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Afternoon Links: Finding a Place That Accepts Debit Cards After the Zombie Apocalypse? Priceless.
Hey, put it on my Grimes. The new Walking Dead prepaid debit cards are billed as “an exciting way for fans to incorporate the series’ art into their daily lives,” but I think they’re probably best saved for special occasions, like when you want to join other zombie enthusiasts in an abandoned mall for a […]
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Girls in Hoodies Podcast: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, and True Life
The behooded ones are finally all in the same room again, and just in time to go super deep on the Kimye phenomenon. What starts as a conversation about the New York Times’s fascinating interview with Kanye West and the buildup to his highly anticipated sixth album, Yeezus, can’t help but be colored by the […]
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Celebrities in Space: What Could Go Wrong?
I had never given much thought to the idea of space travel, or even outer space in general, until a few years ago. Space is so enormous, so vague and terrifying at the same time, that trying to figure out its complexities can hurt your noggin. When it comes to exploring the specifics of the […]
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Afternoon Links: Naomi Watts Is Diana
This trailer for Diana, starring Naomi Watts, is pretty cheeseballs with its emotional, swelling music, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be seeing this movie on opening day (whenever that is — the U.S. release date is TBA). Watts’s resemblance to the people’s princess is striking, maybe due to some very studied mascara acting, which […]
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George Clooney’s Balls, Jonah Hill’s Ego, and How to Walk the Sincerity Tightrope
Yesterday’s most notable click-bait, the double bacon cheeseburger on the hook, was a story about George Clooney’s balls. In 2008, Clooney joked to Esquire that he had gotten “the new thing in Hollywood — ball ironing” in response to a previous sarcastic remark he’d made about getting his eyes done, which was garbled in translation […]
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Afternoon Links: The Internet Is Ricky Gervais’s Plagiarism Playground
Ricky Gervais wrote a wordy tribute to “dicking about” on the Internet and the fact that creativity can’t be taught. It is a gift! His piece, titled “The Internet Is My Playground,” pulls quotes from Scott Adams, Picasso, and Stephen Nachmanovitch, but it looks like he either forgot to credit or neglected to Google David […]
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Afternoon Links: The Singing, Dancing, Hoop-Jumping, Mike Tyson–Accompanying Neil Patrick Harris
If you managed to avoid watching the Tony Awards, here’s the eight-minute opening number for you. It contains many highlights — Mike Tyson, a Once homage, the Matilda children, and something else. What was it? Hmm. Oh yes, the hoop jump. “How is nobody commenting on the fact that he jumped through a fucking hoop?” […]
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Afternoon Links: When Walking Dead Bit Players Attack!
Actress Shannon Richardson (The Walking Dead) has been arrested on charges that she sent ricin-laced threats to President Obama and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Richardson had initially contacted authorities to say that she’d found “suspicious materials” in her fridge and claiming that her husband had sent the letters (“You will have to kill me […]
