Trust nothing today. Everyone is lying to you. Even links on reputable sites. Don’t fall for anything. Pranks know no limits.

Example no. 125,163: Stubhub.com

When searching for Final Four tickets, a man named Erik stumbled on a link. And sent that link to Bill Simmons. Who sent that link to me.

When you click on that link, a prompt:

I read it. And then I clicked the button. Because I read it. Next:

Really, Stubhub.com? You think I was born ayer? You think I don’t know what day it is? You think I’m actually going to be enticed by your offer of “lower bowl tickets”? You actually think I care about the convenient reality that is a line of seats all together?

You think I’ll actually give this some genuine thought, based on the bargain prices you’re throwing my way?

You think you can really get me to buy all six tickets and then brainstorm which five friends to split these with on April 1? You really think you can do that to me, about a team two Dirty Birds away from being ninth in the East?

Sorry, Stubhub.com. Not today. Not to this guy. Better luck next year, you jokesters.