LSU – Forgetful old man finds thing.

Stanford – An article with the headline “For once, Stanford RBs grab spotlight from Luck” shows that even in grabbing the spotlight from Andrew Luck by rushing for 446 yards, none of Stanford’s running backs could get their name in the headline, or get Luck’s out of it.

Kansas State – Despite a victory over the Jayhawks, the K-State Wildcats were unable to get Kansas coach Turner Gill fired. This came two weeks after Gill said: “We have some work to do on that side of the ball … or on all sides of the ball, for that matter.”

Michigan State – Nothing stunning or noteworthy happened for Michigan State football this week, I don’t think.

Texas A&M – It is now the highest-ranked team in Texas, and in God’s eyes.

Michigan – Despite being one of the most electrifying players in the country, Denard Robinson refuses to expand his horizons.

Penn State – Despite being one of the least electrifying players in the country, Matt McGloin has “Irish bravado.”

Texas Tech – With a shocking upset win over Oklahoma, that Texas Tech finally won the hearts and minds of Lubbock sports fans who had spent the last three years mourning the end of the Lubbock Renegades.

Arizona State – The Sun Devils must’ve done something impressive in their bye week in order to jump into the BCS, despite being unranked the week before and passing two teams that also had byes. At this rate, Arizona State will be in position to play in the national title, so long as they don’t play any other games until then.

Georgia – Controversy filled the campus as a satirical cartoon implied that Georgia students are more enthused about drinking and watching football than they are about their academics.

Auburn – Coming off a 45-10 loss to LSU that dropped them to no. 23 from no. 20 in the BCS standings, that this highly appropriate headline appeared: “Gene Chizik says Clint Moseley didn’t panic in face of LSU’s rush; injury update.”

West Virginia – The Mountaineers lost to Syracuse by the same 26-point margin they lost to LSU by, proving once and for all that Syracuse is at least as good as the best team in the country.

Jordan Carr runs the blog Better than Voodoo while trying to make it as a screenwriter in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter at @btvoodoo.

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