In accordance with the Premium Cable Doggystyling Access Act of 2011, the Home Box Office has performed its federally mandated duty by renewing hit series Game of Thrones for a third season, ensuring subscribers will have all the hot, sword-swinging, incesty action they can handle well into 2013. “We are thrilled to announce that Game of Thrones will be returning for Season 3, and that series creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss can continue to bring George R.R. Martin’s fantasy epic to life on HBO,” network president Michael “Don’t Call Me Littlefinger, I Will End You” Lombardo did not say in a press release, though he should have. “You guys have no idea how great it’s going to be. I’ve seen some early outlines, and the first four episodes are nothing but guys with crazy beards having their heads bitten off by angry dragons while they copulate with prostitutes. Winter is coming, bitches. Spoiler alert.”