“I keep on wondering, is he straight or gay?” A mom retells the plot of The Matrix. You know, with Leo and Moshimo.

• Freaky Thursday: Ten case reports of the most fascinating syndrome ever, fantasy showrunner swaps, and slow Bieber revisited.
• Breaking news: Brooklyn is home to hipsters (“O, bohemia!”). The New York Times is ON IT: “I walked down Bedford Avenue, a veritable ocean of beard. Realizing that I’ve never been shaved with a straight razor before, I showed up at Barber and Supply, a cavernous salon in a former garage in Williamsburg. I told my barber, Rich, a hirsute Mediterranean-looking man with studs in each ear, that I was anxious about the “Sweeney Todd aspect” of a straight razor. My anxiety was for naught.”
• Daenerys Targaryen is actually a pretty great stripper name.
• A gaggle of Nic Cages for Iron Man 3.
• The ethics of outing.
• Choose your biopic: Mr. Rogers or “record executive and wild man” Neil Bogart. Or both! Yin/yang it.
• Spielberg has signed on to direct Bradley Cooper’s American Sniper.
• Dr. Drew, martyr, kills Celebrity Rehab: “It’s very stressful and very intense for me. And to have people questioning my motives and taking aim at me because people get sick and die, because they have a life threatening disease, then I have to take blame for that? [ … ] Rodney King has a heart attack and I have to take blame for that? That’s really what is happening these days.”
• Ain’t nothing but a Gatsby party.